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Happy Valentine’s Day! For many people, this is a day to celebrate your love with your spouse but for a lot of disabled people who don’t have that and never will, it can be a very sad day. When you are disabled finding a significant other is more difficult than if you were abled because we face more discrimination than abled people do so Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder that many of us will never be in a relationship or have families like our abled friends. Valentine’s Day is better if you have someone to share with it and if your are single it can be kind of depressing but it doesn’t have to be the worst of the year or consist of you moping all day unless that’s what you really want your day to be. It can be as good as any other day if not better and it all comes down to how you view Valentine’s Day and your attitudes towards it because if you convince yourself nothing good comes from Valentine’s Day then that’s what’s going to happen! Not all disabled people are single on Valentine’s day but some of them are and always will be so if you are struggling this Valentine’s Day here are some things I do as a disabled person on Valentine’s Day to keep from being sad because the reality of it is I probably always be single.
Order a pizza or get some chocolate– I think Valentine’s Day was created just so we all had the excuse to order a pizza and get some chocolate which honestly I don’t need an excuse for because I will eat either of those things any day of the week but it’s nice to day there is a designated day where you can indulge in your favorite treats and not be judged for it. If my parents wanted to go out on Valentine’s Day I wouldn’t’ be jealous about it or want to come with them but I would be totally cool with it because I would have the ultimate excuse to order a pizza and not have to share!
Get off Facebook- On Valentines’ Day sometimes single people get so mad at married couples for posting pictures of their Valentines. Stop getting mad at people expressing their love because you have to expect this and if you can’t handle this get off social media for the day!
Try and be happy- –Sometimes disabled people can get very bitter on Valentine’s Day because they will want what married people have which I totally understand because sometimes I want it too but you’re not helping your depression by hating on married couples. Try and be happy for them and don’t wish someone has a horrible day just because you wish you had a happy marriage just like they do What did those married couples do to you that made you so angry at them? Literally, all they did was live their life happily with their spouse which you too can also live happily but without a spouse. There are times I wish I could have a happy marriage like my parents and my sister do but I don’t secretly wish they crash and burn because I can’t have what they have. I want nothing but happiness for them and it’s okay to want to be in a relationship but it’s not okay to wish someone fails because that is just mean and if your wishing that you have other problems you should probably deal with!
Have a dance party- What I like to do when I am struggling is have a dance party and I don’t necessarily mean a literal dance party with friends although you can do that if you want. When you are depressed you have to change your state and what that means is you need to change the way in which you view negative situations and try to think more positively about them because if you always say you hate everything then that is the energy you are going to put off. I like to dance when I am feeling low and although I am really terrible at it and will not be joining Dancing With The Stars anytime soon because that would be embarrassing! I am not going to stop because you should always keep doing things that bring you joy even if you’re not good at them. Also smiling can help trick your brain into liking something you hate so even if you can’t dance always smile because that is how I learned to trick my brain into loving strength training.
Buy gifts for your friends- – When I used to get really depressed on Valentine’s Day I used to get my sister’s gifts on Valentine’s Day to make myself feel better but haven’t done it while since none of my sisters live at home and I see them all at different times so I would be holding on to them for a while which I would be a problem or me because I have no self control and would most likely just end up eating it! If you are depressed on Valentine’s Day because you feel like your are missing out then buy your friends something because everyone loves to get there favorite chocolate. If you want to give me my favorite chocolate on a random Tuesday I’ll take it and won’t ask questions!
Get ready for tomorrow- How many married people can say they slept in and did nothing on Valentine’s Day? I am willing to bet you none of them because when you’re married it’s kind of a given to at the bare minimum at least buy your spouse chocolate or they would never let you live that one down but for us single folks it’s okay to forget about it and no one really cares if you do forget about it or will hold anything against your for it. There have been times I have almost forgotten it’s Valentine’s Day until literally the day of which is okay because I have no obligation and the cool thing about being single. On Valentine’s Day while everyone is planning their nice extravagant dinners I plan for the week ahead if it’s on a weekend which this year it is!
Hang out with your single friends- People who are married are probably going to be busy spending time with their partner’s and they should be but for those that are not in a relationship, it is likely their schedule will be just as free as yours is! Invite them over and have some fun because although it may not be date night it still can be just as fun as if it was.
Valentine’s Day can be hard for a lot of disabled people, but it doesn’t have to make you bitter and be the worst day of the year. I understand wanting to be with someone because sometimes I want that to but your friends and family still love you even if they aren’t a partner. When I get sad on Valentine’s Day what I like to remind myself of is how much free time I have on Valentine’s Day and how much money I am saving in February on flowers and chocolate that married people have to spend so much money on. It would be nice to receive flowers from a partner but just because you are single that doesn’t mean your day isn’t going to be good and single people just celebrate it differently. If you feel that way and are disabled, I truly hope you can find some peace with it and for all my disabled friends know that you are loved even though you don’t have a partner. Are you disabled and single? What do you do on Valentine’s Day to celebrate?
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