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Surgery is necessary for some people to have good health but even though it may not be your first rodeo it still doesn’t make it any less stressful. Positivity is important after surgery and you should try to be as positive as you can but it’s hard to be happy when you are in pain and it feels like there is nothing to be smiling about. People still expect you to be postive after surgery and think it’s as easy as focusing on everything that is good about your situation. How can anyone be postive after surgery when you have severe pain that is making you sleep deprived for weeks or even months? I have had dozen of surgeries and I try to be positive with all of them for better mental health but when you have more pain than you ever thought possible it’s not easy and most times you will not be thinking what good can come of your situation but when will it stop? Some surgeries you may struggle more with your mental health than others because the pain is higher but you will never think a surgery was a great idea the moment it’s done because you still feel horrible and may even question if it was the right decision. I will never understand people that are suprised by the negativity of loved ones after surgery because you wouldn’t be in a good mood if you had to take medication that gave you the world’s worst migraine. If you are struggling with your mental health here are some things that you can do to make your recovery a little bit brighter.
It is okay if you don’t feel positive- When you are recovering from surgery you will have all kinds of emotions and some of them will be but most of them will be sad tears. After I have surgery I am not a happy person like I usually am but that is to be expected because no one with severe pain is going to be filled with joy. People sometimes get concerned with my negativity because I usually am not that angry but I don’t understand why people are surprised by it and think that telling me every inspirational quote you know is helpful or that I will suddenly cure myself if I was less negative. People that are recovering from surgery often may be angry and negative because of their pain for a little while but you should only be concerned it if your loved ones start talking about death and it is clear that your mental health took a major hit that you may not come back from without a professional. People recovering from surgery need encouragement from families to get through it but only if it’s real positivity because anything that is fake is harmful and will make people want nothing to do with you during their recovery. Positivity is not a reality for many right after surgery and that is okay and sometimes it is better to not try and fix things but to let someone be angry and feel their emotions because often it’s not permanent and will change when pain is lower. I shouldn’t have to fake positivity for friends and family to not have to listen to them tell me that my mindset is the problem but sometimes I feel like I do.
Send me something that will make me laugh- Pain medication can help you sleep better and have a little less pain but it doesn’t get your pain to a zero like people think it does but only healing and time does that. Pain after surgery makes some people depressed and not want to do anything or talk to anyone. Laughter is the best medicine for pain because even if you can’t get rid of someone’s pain completely you can still make it a little bit brighter. I was having an abdominal I would not want you to send me any comedy because it hurts to laugh and comedy is not nearly as enjoyable but with my hip surgery, it will be different. Laughter will not be an issue with my upcoming surgery and it’s okay if you want to send me videos that makes me laugh so hard that I can’t contain myself and pee my pants but it’s actually good to send me comedy because it’s a distraction from pain.
Surround yourself with positive people- Families can help improve mental health because it’s the times that you are alone that depression starts to settle in. I love visitors and will let people come visit me as long as you are respecting boundaries and not showing up at times I have asked you not to. People can help improve your mental health after surgery but if you are hanging out with negative people when you already feel horrible it can rub off on you and make it worse so you feel even more angry than you originally would have been. It is not rude or selfish to have boundaries during your recovery and not allow people that are negative but it’s self-care and I highly suggest that you don’t allow negative visitors or socialize with them on social media for better mental health. I know I have said before how important it is to surround yourself with uplifting people but I will say it again because it is one of the most important things you can do during your recovery.
Remember that it’s going to get better- When you have surgery sometimes it’s easy to forget about the positives of your recovery because the negatives stand on so much more. I have been recovering from hip replacement surgery for close to two years and it has been nothing but struggles that will hopefully one day go away and I am tired of life being three times more difficult that it has to be. I am told often that my life will be much easier when I get movement back but I don’t believe anyone who says that because so far there have been no signs that things are going to change anytime soon. I struggle with something every single day and sometimes the challenges aren’t that hard but most days I am frustrated because I am struggling with tasks that I shouldn’t be. Life is hard for disabled people when you live in an inaccessible world but it’s not the easy days that will make a difference and it’s the hard ones where you feel like quitting is your best option that makes you stronger. I sometimes have to remind myself that the struggles after surgery is not forever and even if it’s not soon there will be a day that my hip surgery will be in the rearview mirror and my life will be better for it. It’s easy to become negative after surgery but you want to try and not let yourself get in that place of anger and regret often because it’s not good for your mental health to constantly be in the mindset that nothing is ever going to change.
Listen to something that is uplifting- Surgery recoveries can have some positive moments but overall they are not fun and the negatives will outweigh the positives. If you have been recovering from surgery for a while and see no signs of improvement sometimes you struggle with being postive or your mental health in general. It is understandable to not feel happy when you have a long recovery because I was that way for the first six months of my hip replacement recovery but you don’t need to let those feelings make you a negative person. Listen to your favorite music or a motivating podcast to lift your spirits because sometimes all it takes is hearing something that gives you hope and lets you see a light at the end of the tunnel. Positivity is not something that will come naturally and most people that you see who are positive do a lot of personal development and surround themselves with positive people.
Try not to focus on the negatives- I could go on and on about everything that has been bad about my hip replacement recovery because there are far more negatives than there are positives. I try not to think about everything that is bad about my situation but focus on the good because when you make a list of everything negative thing that happened to you during your recovery it will make you even sadder. There may not be a lot of positives about your recovery but there is always something good with every situation and you need to remember those things instead of reminding yourself of how much harder your life is. It is important to acknowledge the negatives because they are still there and I don’t want you to live in denial but you should try not to put your focus in everything that is making your life harder.
Surgery recoveries sometimes are necessary for some people to go through but it’s hard and until you start to feel better some people may become angry or slightly negative. Families can make a dramatic difference in the lives of people in pain and encourage positivity by being positive themselves, but you shouldn’t force positivity or expect anyone who is struggling to be happy because no one who is sleep deprived from pain will be happy and cheerful. Some people do not see how anything good can come of their situation but it’s okay to feel that way because those emotions don’t last forever and sometimes it’s better to let someone let it all out and be negative than to force them to see the bright side of things. It will always be easier for families not in pain to be positive than it will be for people actually going through it because nothing is as simple as meditating and sometimes you just have to let people find their own happiness than to put your best effort in telling them that everything will work out which will annoy people even more. What are you doing to be more positive after surgery?