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If you were to rely on the media to educate you about disability, you’d be very misled because the media very wrongly portrays the disabled community and makes disabled people seem depressed and desperate for a cure. If you are newly diagnosed coping with your disability with your disability can be hard and it doesn’t make it easier when there is so much ableism and misinformation on tv about disability that is simply not true, that it can be hard to know what to believe and what not to. Disabled advocates are more important now than ever because society often scares people of becoming disabled and people need to hear from actual disabled people to be reassured that it’s not that scary. I fully support TV shows that try to be inclusive of the disabled community by featuring disabled characters in their script and the problem isn’t that disabled people aren’t featured in movies but it’s that it’s not done in the right way to accurately portray the disabled community and when you do it wrong it makes disabled people face more discrimination. In this post, I am going to talk about common disability myths that you may have heard in the media or from your friends that are simply not true.
Disabled people can’t have sex in the same way as able-bodied people– If you are disabled, you have probably had an able-bodied person ask you so, “How do you have sex?” I will never understand why able-bodied people go up to a total stranger who happens to be disabled and start asking them about their sex life and do you not have any boundaries? If a disabled person were to that we would get the ugliest looks, so why is it okay for abled people to ask such personal questions? People sometimes assume that disabled people cannot have sex like able-bodied people can, and that we do it in a totally different way but in most cases disabled people have sex in the same way abled people do. Disabled people with physical disabilities sometimes have to get into different positions during sex to accommodate their disabilities, but the vast majority of people can have sex in the same way able-bodied people can. Some disabled people may choose not to have children because they do not want to pass on their challenges to their kids, but most of us are able to have them and just choose not to.
Disabled people only date other disabled people- When you are disabled, sometimes people assume that because you are disabled that your significant also has a disability but that is only true sometimes. Dating a disabled person can sometimes be easier because your partner would understand the challenges of a disability more than an able-bodied person would and you’d be less likely to have an ableist partner but an able-bodied partner also has it’s perks. . I would probably have to date an able-bodied person longer before considering marriage to make sure my partner understood the limitations of my disability and was will accept them them instead of trying cure them. An able-bodied partner think could be positive if it was with the right person because they could help me with more thing than someone who has my disability could. There are pros and cons to being in a relationship with both disabled and able-bodied people, and I don’t think one is better than the other and the most important thing is that you are happy but it is a big myth that disabled people can only date other disabled people. It is true that sometimes it’s easier to a date another disabled person but even though your partner is disabled it doesn’t mean everything will work out.
Abled and disabled people live completely different lives– Disabled people have challenges that most abled people will never experience, but our lives are not as different as people think they are. Disabled people still have to go to the store, do laundry, and go to work, just like abled people do and the only difference is how we complete these tasks. I may have to take several trips when doing a set of laundry, whereas an able-bodied person could do it in one trip, but I can do most things able-bodied people can. I sometimes have to make accommodations that an abled person wouldn’t have to but my life as a disabled person is not as different as you think it is and if you paid close attention, you may notice I do a lot of things just like you!
People who use wheelchairs but can walk are fakers– There are lazy people who will try to take advantage of things like accessible parking, and those people infuriate me because it’s people who abuse the system that make it difficult for disabled people with legitimate disabilities to receive the benefits that allow them to get necessary medical supplies. When you have a visible disability like I do, people don’t generally question if your disability is real because you can easily see but if you had an invisible disability and use a wheelchair it’s common to be called “faker.” A vast majority of disabilities are invisible, and we need to get away from calling every disabled person that doesn’t look disabled a faker because most people don’t fake a disability and that is just something society has put in our heads. Some disabled people are able to walk normally but sometimes need to a wheelchair due to chronic pain because ambulatory wheelchair users exist but that doesn’t mean someone is a faker. I am going that to say people never fake a disability because people definitely do and if you go to a concert and the disabled section is jammed packed of people jumping up and down, you can assume that half of them are probably not disabled.
My loved ones is disabled and won’t mind if I use the accessible parking sticker- Accessible parking is necessary for disabled people because a lot of disabled people with physical challenges are not able to walk long distances like abled people can. It can be frustrating when able-bodied people take advantage of accessible parking, but it’s even more infuriating when it happens within families that should know better. Families sometimes take advantage of their loved ones disability and use their accessible parking sticker because they think we won’t mind but we we do because you are using my disability for your benefit and that is wrong. If I am with you, please make my life easier and take advantage of accessible because that is why we have it but if I am not with you, don’t be lazy and walk the farther distance because it hurts disabled people every time you use accessible parking and don’t need it. Some disabled people don’t have the stamina to walk farther and need close parking but sometimes it can be hard to get because people are lazy . Disabled people are not always say things to their families when they abuse things such as accessible parking but we do mind because it’s just as unacceptable for family members to abuse disabled privileges as it would for a total stranger if not more.
You can’t live well with a disability- The media is always putting the harmful message that all disabilities need to be cured and that you can’t live well with a disability, but the truth is, you can be wildly successful with a disability and never be cured. As a society, it’s important that disabled people know about all the research that has been done, all the medical advancements that have been made to improve their quality of life for disabled people, but we should stop promoting the idea that all disabilities need cures because not everyone wants one. I think the bigger issue isn’t that a vast majority of disabilities can’t be cured, but it’s all the ableism that make disabled people think being abled is superior and the lack of accessibility that holds disabled people back.
Able-bodied people are smarter disabled people – Disabled people sometimes are treated like a child because for some reason people think that since your legs don’t work that it must affect brain and make you dumber than able-bodied people. Some disabled people with severe developmental disabilities may have lower intelligence levels, but it is important to note that I am not stating that someone with lower cognitive abilities equals stupidity because even though you are twenty and may only have third grade comprehension it does not mean you are not smart. I hate how disabled people sometimes are treated as if they are dumber than able-bodied people because most people with disabilities have average intelligence, and many pursue higher education and have successful careers just like their abled peers. Some disabled people become highly intelligent and pursue careers such as lawyers, doctors, and engineers because not all disabilities affect the way you learn.
All disabled people are inspirations- Movies are always portraying all disabled people as inspirations and I hate it because not all disabled people are inspiring. I will not watch movies with disabled characters that are played by able-bodied people because ninety-nine percent of the time, it’s inspiration porn and I can’t bring myself to give a movie money that is wrongly representing the disabled community (nor should you) because it only encourages people to make more movies that wrongly portray the disabled community. If I have inspired you in some way, it’s okay to call me inspirational and the problem isn’t that disabled people are never inspiring but it’s that we are praised for leaving our home and disabled people shouldn’t be praised for doing basic tasks because we are just living life and do what we have to. I know a lot of disabled people that I would consider a inspiring person but I also plenty of people who sit in their homes feeling sorry for themselves and are the complete opposite of what you’d call inspiring. I hate how society portrays all disabled people as inspiring because not all disabled people are because a disability itself isn’t what makes someone’s inspiring but actions do. Disabled people can be inspirational but the idea that all disabled people are inspiring is ableist and is simple not true!
People with severe pain are balling their eyes out- People have their own idea of what they think severe pain is supposed to look like and often people think that to be in severe pain you have to be balling your eyes out and barely able to speak. This is a harmful myth because the truth is a lot of people don’t cry on high pain days and it depends on your pain tolerance. . Most people with chronic pain are not going to be balling their eyes out on high pain days because we are used to pain and know how to cope with it. Some people cry when pain is high but not everyone does and you should never assume that just because someone isn’t crying that it’s a good day because it not always is and some people are just very good at hiding bad days.
There is so much stigma in the media when it comes to disability, and I think that the biggest problem is that most people don’t realize that when they support a movie about a disabled character played by abled people that they are contributing to the problem and encouraging filmmakers to make more movies that wrongly represent the disabled community. I like to think that movies are getting better with accurately representing the disabled community but there is still so much work to be done because able-bodied people still play disabled parts and there are still movies that portray disabled people as inspirations that need to stop being made. It makes my heart happy when people try to be inclusive of the disabled community, but it only helps break the stigma if you do it right otherwise you are contributing to problem and making people believe things are not true at all. These are not all the disability myths I have heard in the media and in life in general but it’s a complete list of every disability myth because there are too many and the bottom line is if sounds too inspirational or is claiming a cure it’s probably not an accurate representation. What myths about disability have you heard that aren’t true?
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