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Able-bodied people sometimes struggle to accept someone’s disability and will tell disabled people that we can do whatever we put our minds to and that we are only disabled if we want to be. My disability is something I live with, and I am not defined by my disability but because I live with a physical disability, I do have limitations, and cannot do whatever I put my mind to. Positivity can help some disabled people cope with their challenges, but being positive is not going to make your challenges go away and it only helps better your mental health. I can do some things that my able-bodied friends can, but I can’t do everything and that is okay because sometimes I don’t have the muscles to engage in certain activities. Most people mean well when they tell disabled people that they can do whatever they put their minds to and think they are being supportive but in most cases people only say it when they are uncomfortable with someone’s disability. In this post, I am going to talk about six things that I cannot do because of my physical disability.
Lie on your stomach and lift your legs- I live with a condition called hip dysplasia, which means that my hip socket did not develop properly and is too shallow to fully cover the ball portion of the upper thigh which often leads to partial or full dislocation of your hips. Surgery can correct hip dysplasia, but it is not a cure, and if it’s not causing pain, it may not always be necessary and for some people, surgery may not be as successful as you would have hoped. Hip dysplasia is common in people with Spina Bifida, but you don’t need my disability to have hip dysplasia and it can happen to anyone. When you have hip dysplasia, you may need to wear leg braces because it helps keep your hips properly aligned and prevents it from getting worse but even with corrective surgery, there will still be physical limitations. I was born with both of my hips fully dislocated and cannot do exercises that require you to lie on your stomach and lift your arms and legs at the same time because you don’t need strong glutes for that which I don’t have. If I wanted to do something like that I would have to modify and only do the movement with my arms because it’s impossible to lie on my stomach and lift my legs from that position or kick them backwards because my glutes are too weak to be able to do that movement. Exercise can be a challenge when you have hip dysplasia because a lot of moves require you to use your hips and is impossible.
Go skydiving- Some people enjoy the thrill of sky-diving but I will never understand what the hype is all about because the thought of jumping out of an airplane is terrifying.. I would never attempt skydiving even if I sound fun to me because when you live with Hydrocephalus, it can be quite dangerous and the the pressure changes often can cause shunt problems. When I get on an airplane, I sometimes have a lot of seizures because my brain cannot handle the pressure changes and if I were to go skydiving, I probably would have a seizure in the middle of the air and be unconscious when I landed which would likely result in my death. Activities where the pressure changes can be dangerous for people with Hydrocephalus, and a lot of those kinds of activities I don’t do, not because I am physically unable but it can cause a lot of issues with my shunt and is just not safe.
Go for a run- Some people enjoy running when they exercise, but I can never see the enjoyment in going for a run because when I run it’s more like a skip and takes more effort. I am able to walk, but the way I have to propel my legs is different because the muscles most people use to walk I do not have and I mostly use my quads to walk. If you ever see me running, it’s probably because I had a serious stoma problem that needed to be dealt with quickly, or someone was chasing me and you should probably be running too. I can get benefit from walking but you won’t usually see me running unless I have a very good reason because it puts more pressure on my body and makes my form sloppy which is not good for everyone.
I can’t stand for long periods of time. I can stand for about five to ten minutes before I need a chair, but it can be difficult to stand much longer than because my disability limits my ability to stand for long periods of time. Exercise can help build some endurance so I can stand for longer, but I will never be able to stand for hours like able-bodied people can because my body is not designed that way. I get fatigued faster when I have to stand for long periods of time, because I have to use my arms and legs to stand and it requires more effort. If I stand for too long, my legs will start to give out and if I don’t get a chair I will have to sit on the floor to rest because if I don’t my legs will decide that for me. People sometimes will not understand that I can’t stand for long periods of time and will tell me that I could use the exercise but it’s not a case of not exercising and it has everything to do with the limitations of my disability. Standing for long periods of time puts a lot of pressure on my wrists and hips and it can become very painful when I am forced to stand beyond my limits. Standing for long periods is exercising but it’s always putting a lot of stress on my body and sometimes it makes my form sloppy to accommodate the pain I am experiencing.
Doing a split without horrible pain – When I was a child, I did splits often because, when your hips are fully dislocated, it is possible without doing any kind of flexibility training but even though you can do something, it doesn’t mean you should. As a child I did not fully understand that doing a spilt is dangerous because I was impressed with that fact that I can do it without working for but what I didn’t understand is that the only reason could do it was because my hips are dislocated. I don’t know why I ever wanted to because my legs do not spread as wide as an able-bodied person, and activities such as horseback riding are not as enjoyable because they force my legs past their limits, resulting in incredible pain. Able-bodied people often can train themselves to be able to do a split, but I cannot do that kind of flexibility training because my hips were not developed properly and doing such things is not only painful but dangerous.
Work my dream job— People are always talking about working their dream job, but when you are disabled, working your dream job is not always a choice, and sometimes you have to take what you can get because not all employers will hire disabled people. I have a learning disability and was not able to get a college degree because I struggled to understand the material, and every tutor I went to was not trained in teaching people with learning disabilities. I will never be able to work my dream job like able-bodied people because my dream job is an ASL interpreter and you need a college degree for that. Disabled people have to keep their disabilities in mind when choosing a career and sometimes we can’t work our dream job and have to choose something else because sometimes it’s physically impossible. I can’t do jobs that require a lot of heavy lifting because I can’t use my legs to lift heavy things, and if my dream job required that, I’d have to choose something else.
Stand on my toes- I have no feeling in my feet and never get an itch on my foot or experience pain in that area because those nerves were never developed. The only time I’d feel some pain in my feet is if I had a really bad infection but it’s not to the extent an able-bodied person would feel it and even with a really bad infection I barely feel pain. It can be a good and bad thing that I have no feeling in my feet and it’s good because I don’t feel pain when I cut myself but it can be bad because a lot of the time I don’t notice infections until it’s too late. I have no feeling in my feet and also can’t stand on my toes because I don’t have those muscles and if it looks like I am standing on my toes I am probably doing it on accident and am likely putting more pressure on my hips than my feet.
People are always telling disabled people that they can do all the things able-bodied people can, but that is not true, and sometimes our disabilities make certain activities impossible. My disability limits some activities, and that is okay because I find new activities that my disability does not prevent me from doing well. We live in an inaccessible world, and sometimes I will not be able to do things with my abled friends and it doesn’t matter how many times you tell me to believe I can it still doesn’t repair muscles I don’t have. Disabled people don’t need you to tell us that our disabilities don’t prevent us from doing things because they do and it’s just another thing people say when they are uncomfortable with someone’s disability. Please stop telling disabled people that they can do whatever they put their minds to because it’s complete garbage and is harming disabled people. These are only some things my disability prevents me from and there is so much more. What does your disability prevent you from doing?
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