Everyone has things that people sometimes do that they know annoys another person, but they still do it anyway. I have a lot of things that annoy me that aren’t related to my disability in even the slightest way, and I just don’t tell people all of my pet peeves because when people know what gets under your skin, they tend to do it more. Disabled people get annoyed by things that have nothing to do with our disabilities, but we also get frustrated with things that a non-disabled person will never understand because they aren’t disabled. I think that there are some instances where a non-disabled person is intentionally being rude to a disabled person and knows it but a lot of the time, I think people mean well and just don’t know how to talk to disabled people. As a disabled person, I have a lot of pet peeves and a vast majority of them are things a non-disabled person has said or done that they probably did not realize was taking me a lot of self-control to not scream. What are my biggest pet peeves as a disabled person? In this post, I am going to talk about some of my biggest pet peeves I have as a disabled person so you can be more aware and stop doing them.
You aren’t disabled but differently-abled- There is nothing wrong with the term differently-abled and some disabled may choose to identify as differently abled, and that is okay, but I am not one of those people. When people tell me that I am not disabled but differently-abled I want to punch people in the face because I am disabled, and it annoys me so much when a non-disabled person tells me how they think I should identify. I prefer to use the word disabled because I am disabled and don’t think I need to be using other terms to mask my disability, and I hate it when people tiptoe around using the word disabled. Most people that I know prefer to use the term disabled, and in my experience, the only people who call themselves differently-abled are non-disabled people or disabled people who are struggling to accept a disability. Please stop telling disabled people that we aren’t disabled but differently-abled, because a lot of disabled people prefer to be called disabled. Disabled is not a bad word, and many disabled people want you to use it because how I identify is not up to non-disabled people!
When people park in an accessible space and don’t need it- I am not annoyed by every single person who parks in an accessible parking space that doesn’t look disabled because there are more invisible disabilities than visible one and you don’t know who is a faker and who isn’t without asking. As a disabled person, I don’t believe that everyone fakes a disability like some non-disabled people do but fakers do exist. There is nothing that I hate more than when people park in an accessible parking space and do not need it because you are making less spaces for people who are actually disabled. Accessible parking is not there to make it more convenient for non-disabled people and it’s for disabled people who can’t walk longer distances. Unfortunately, you will never know who is abusing accessible parking by looking at someone but if I know you don’t need close parking you best believe I am annoyed even if I don’t say anything to you.
When people start touching me without permission– Why do people go up to disabled people and start petting them on the head like we are their dog? I don’t want random strangers touching my face for no reason, and I don’t think people understand how much self-control it is taking me to not bite you. If you think my assistive devices are cool and are curious or want to touch me in any way, please ask before doing so, because it violates a disabled person’s personal space when you do it without asking. It would be frowned upon if a disabled person started touching a non-disabled person for no reason, then why is it okay for non-disabled people to start touching a disabled person? Please get permission before touching a disabled person or their assistive devices because it’s not okay to touch someone without permission. You are not respecting disabled people when you touch our bodies without permission or our assistive devices.
When people do things for me that I asked them not to do- Non-disabled people sometimes think they are helping a disabled person when they do things for us. It is helpful when people offer assistance and do things for me that my disability makes difficult, but it is not helpful when you do things for me, I asked you not to do. Disabled people do not always need or want help, and sometimes we want to do things ourselves because it’s one of the few things we can do independently, and when you do something for us it takes away the little independence I do have. There is nothing more frustrating than when people won’t take no for an answer, because sometimes I don’t want your help.
When people push me and act like I am a racecar– I am very picky about who I let push my wheelchair because a lot of the time I don’t like the way people push me and they are either going too slow or too fast. I have experienced a lot of different types of drivers and some people or better than others, but there is nothing I hate more than when people push me and decide they are going to run. It sounds like it would be fun, right? No, not necessarily for the person experiencing it, because you are giving them a very jerky and terrifying ride that may give them a lot of pain later on. If you are going to push my wheelchair, please be considerate of the way you are pushing my chair, because you can instantly cause me a lot of pain by acting like I am a racecar. Remember that you are pushing an actual human being, and the way you drive my wheelchair matters! I am very picky about who I let push me, not because I never want a break but most people are terrible drivers.
When you accuse people who don’t look disabled of being a faker- People often do not accuse me of being a faker because my physical challenges are visible. Disabled people who don’t look disabled often are accused of being a faker because they don’t look disabled. Non-disabled people often believe that everyone fakes disabilities, but I don’t think it’s as much of a problem as people think it is. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone yells faker at someone who uses an accessible parking space because they don’t look disabled. Fakers do exist, but it’s impossible to know if someone is faking a disability unless you ask them because most disabilities are invisible. Most people don’t fake disabilities, and we need to stop accusing people of being a faker because it hurts the disabled community.
When people try to justify inaccessibility– Non-disabled people often think that accessibility is an inconvenience and is something we can choose to do if we want to. Accessibility benefits everyone and it’s not just for disabled people because it’s easier for everyone when doors are a little wider. I have accepted the fact that some people don’t care about disabled people and will not make their business accessible unless they are forced to. It is frustrating when I hear people saying it’s expensive to be disabled, and it’s okay to be a little accessible sometimes. Inaccessibility is dangerous for disabled people, and we shouldn’t be making people feel like it’s okay to ignore accessibility, but instead calling them out on it. We are never going to make the world more accessible for disabled people if we keep reassuring them that it’s okay to be inaccessible sometimes. No, it’s not okay to not include disabled people, and you should be ashamed of yourself for not thinking of us!
When people refer to me as special needs- There are some words that people use to identify a disability that I don’t love but I could deal with it if someone were to call me that. I have never liked the term special needs and cringe every time I hear a family member refer to my disability in that way. It’s ableist and isolates disabled people by saying our needs are special, and I wish people would stop saying it. I do things in a slightly different way to accommodate my disability, but my needs aren’t special, and I have the same human needs everyone has.
When you push my wheelchair without asking– Non-disabled people sometimes think they are being helpful when they start pushing our wheelchairs, but it’s only helpful if I asked you to. Sometimes I want to push myself to get some exercise, and I get so annoyed when people don’t let me and start pushing my wheelchair.
Disabled people are sometimes annoyed by things that non-disabled people aren’t because non-disabled people do not struggle with the same things as us. Non-disabled people sometimes don’t realize when they are doing something ableist because it’s normalized in our society, and most people don’t know what it is. People sometimes may continue to do things that annoy me as a disabled person, which can be partly my fault because I sometimes ignore these things and don’t call people out. I don’t always tell people when they are being ableist unless it is so bad, and you should never say that comment to anyone because it can be exhausting to constantly correct people. This is not a complete list of every pet peeve I have because I have a lot and couldn’t possibly list them all in one post. What are your biggest pet peeves as a disabled person? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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