What Is It Like Having Four Non-Disabled Sisters

Disabled people sometimes have people in their family who are also disabled because once you have one disabled child, it’s not unlikely for your second child to also be disabled. I am not an only child and have four sisters, but I am the only one in my family with Spina Bifida, and none of my siblings are disabled. I am glad that none of my sisters are disabled because living with a disability is isolating and frustrating, and I wouldn’t wish those kinds of feelings on my worst enemy. I am not bothered by the fact that my family doesn’t understand what it’s like to be disabled because most people couldn’t handle it. There are advantages and disadvantages to having four non-disabled sisters, and sometimes I hate being the only one who is disabled and wish I could get rid of my disability, while other times I love it. It is hard to be the only one in your family who is disabled because, although people mean well, sometimes you feel misunderstood. What is it like being the only one in your family who is disabled? In this post, I am sharing what it’s like being the only one who is disabled with four non-disabled sisters.

You are constantly navigating ableism– Most non-disabled people do not know what ableism is, and even if they could give you a definition, they probably couldn’t give you an example because non-disabled people do not understand ableism to the extent disabled people. As a disabled person, I am constantly navigating ableism within my own family because if you were raised by non-disabled people, you were raised on ableism unless they people take it upon themselves to unlearn it, which most people don’t. Most times, I think people mean well and don’t realize they are being ableist because there are so many phrases that are incredibly ableist that are normalized in our society. I want to make it very clear that my sisters aren’t the only people in my family who are ableist, and everyone in my family has said something ableist at one time or another. Some people are more ableist than others, but no one is exempt from ableism, and it’s something we can all work on. As a disabled person, I am negatively affected by ableism, but when you are the only one in your family who is disabled, you have to learn to navigate it.

I have always have someone to help me– If everyone in my family struggled in the same way I do, it would be very difficult to get assistance when I couldn’t do a task because they wouldn’t be able to do it either. I never expect my sisters to drop everything to assist me with a task, but one of the perks of having multiple sisters without disabilities is that you always have someone to help you and don’t have to ask strangers to help you up the stairs. If one sister is busy and can’t help you at the moment, that is okay because you have backups. Disabled people don’t always have siblings without disabilities to assist them with tasks, but I am grateful I do because I always have someone to help me.

You never recover alone– When I have a surgery, I never have to recover alone because one of the benefits of having multiple sisters is that you never have to recover alone, and there is always someone there to keep you company. My sisters respect boundaries and sometimes have to work when I am in the hospital, but are always willing to bring me Starbucks after work to help me feel better. I am so blessed that I have a large support system because not all disabled people have that, and some people are alone in the hospital, and I can’t even begin to imagine how lonely that must feel. Recoveries are so much easier when you have a good support system, and I am grateful to have multiple sisters to help me through hard recoveries because sometimes I get depressed and need to be reminded that I am not alone.

I wish I could talk about my disability with my family- My sisters never intentionally leave me out of things, but sometimes I am not able to participate in activities with them because my disability prevents me from being able to do that task. I never want my sisters to not do something because of my disability, but even though I’m used to being left out, that doesn’t make it any easier. When you are disabled, sometimes you feel isolated and misunderstood within your family, but you can’t talk to people about it because they won’t understand and will probably say something ableist that is not helpful. There are times I am frustrated with my disability and can’t get a hold of my disabled friends, and wish I could talk about it with my non-disabled sisters. I don’t usually talk about my disability much with my non-disabled sisters because they are not going to give me the same kind of advice a disabled person would. My family can tell you a lot of facts about my disability, but it can be difficult to talk about the struggles of your disability with people who aren’t disabled because they don’t understand and often will think you are complaining.

When you are the only one in your family who is disabled, sometimes it can be frustrating because people don’t understand things you wish they could, while other times it can be a huge benefit. It can be frustrating to be the only one in your family who is disabled, but because of my disability, I am able to teach my sisters things a non-disabled person wouldn’t be able to teach them, so they can better support the disabled community. My sisters may not get everything right all the time, but they do know more about accessibility than someone who doesn’t know a disabled person would, because they see me struggle and I am able to teach them. Some days I hate being disabled in a family surrounded by non-disabled people, but most days my family tries to include me, and I am not even thinking about my disability. Do you have non-disabled siblings, and what is it like? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.

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