When you are disabled, it is more difficult to make friends than it would be for a non-disabled person because we live in a world surrounded by ableism that struggles to accept differences. Friendships with disabled people sometimes look a little bit different, because you have to take someone’s disability into consideration when doing activities that you wouldn’t have to if someone weren’t disabled. Disabled people can make great friends because my disability is something I live with, but it does not affect my ability to be a good person. Non-disabled people can benefit from having a disabled friend because you can learn so much more about disability awareness when you have direct access to a disabled person. Disabled people want to have a lot of friends like non-disabled people but often struggle to make friends because when people see our disabilities, they want nothing to do with us. Non-disabled people need disabled friends, and you shouldn’t not be friends with someone because of their disability, but often people won’t be friends with us for that reason. Why do non-disabled people need disabled friends? In this post, I am sharing a few things non-disabled people can learn when they are friends with a disabled person.
Disabled people want the same things as you– Non-disabled people sometimes think that disabled people are very different from them and want completely different things. As a physically disabled person, I may move and think differently from a non-disabled person, but I want a lot of the same things as non-disabled people and am not as different as you think. Friendships with disabled people teach you that we want a lot of the same things as non-disabled people, and on the inside, we aren’t that different. My goals sometimes look a little different because there are some tasks my disability prevents me from doing, but I have a lot of the same interests as non-disabled people. Disabled people want nothing other than to be treated like a normal human being. Friendships with disabled people can help non-disabled people better understand that we aren’t completely different from you, which will make you a better friend.
It teaches you how to be a better advocate– Disabled people are constantly having to advocate for their needs because we live in an inaccessible world that thinks accessibility isn’t important. Non-disabled people sometimes are decent advocates because they have a disabled family member and have been forced to learn how to advocate for them. Most non-disabled people are not good disability advocates because they don’t know a disabled person and don’t need to be. Advocacy is a good skill to have because everyone has times in their life when they are being taken advantage of and need to stand up and advocate for themselves. Friendship with disabled people teaches you how to be a better advocate because you always have to take your friend’s disability into account when doing any activity. You will learn how to be a better advocate because your advocacy skills will strengthen the more you hang out with disabled people. Non-disabled people sometimes can become very good advocates when they have friends or family members who are disabled, because the disabled person can teach you how to be a good advocate. Anyone can become disabled, and disability advocacy is not just for disabled people, and everyone should be doing it.
You will learn how to be less ableist– Ableism is a form of discrimination and social prejudice with the belief that all disabled people need to be fixed and that the abilities of non-disabled people are superior to disabled people. You can’t escape ableism because it’s everywhere, and anyone can be ableist, including disabled people, because no one is exempt from it. Most disabled people know what ableism but if you were to ask a non-disabled person, it is likely that they wouldn’t be able to give you a basic definition. If you were raised by non-disabled people, you may not have even been introduced to that word because most non-disabled people don’t understand what ableism is and are ableist without trying to be. Friendships with disabled people can help you better understand ableism and learn how to recognize it, which so many non-disabled people struggle to do. Non-disabled people may still struggle to recognize ableism even if they know a disabled person, but you will learn how to be a little less ableist when you have someone to teach you.
Disability inclusion will be more important to you- Non-disabled people who do not know a disabled person sometimes think that disability inclusion isn’t important, and sometimes all it takes to change that thought is to know a disabled person. Disability inclusion becomes more important to you when you see your friends not being included because accessibility was an afterthought. Non-disabled people who have disabled friends often are more passionate about disability inclusion than someone who doesn’t have disabled friends, because they want their friends to feel included.
You will develop more empathy toward medical conditions– . Non-disabled people who have disabled friends or loved one often have more empathy toward medical conditions than those who don’t know a disabled person. A non-disabled person will never understand what a disabled person is going through, but when you know a disabled person, you will better understand that disability is not always convenient and won’t judge people as much for canceling at the last minute. Of course, not all non-disabled people develop more empathy because some people are set in their ways, and you cannot change them, but you can develop more empathy and understanding by knowing a disabled person.
When you are disabled, it is more difficult to make friends because sometimes people think that disabled people do not make good friends. Friendship with disabled people can fall apart, but usually that only happens when people lack understanding, because sometimes your disability can make your relationships stronger. I have not had the best luck with being friends with a non-disabled person, but there are a lot of disabled people who have non-disabled friends and have great relationships because your disability isn’t what makes you a good or a bad friend. Non-disabled people sometimes need disabled friends because they treat disabled people so poorly and need someone they care about to call out their ableism. Disabled people and non-disabled people sometimes have different opinions on disability-related issues, and it doesn’t always work out, but we can make great friends if you give us a chance. Non-disabled people are not heroes for being friends with a disabled person, and you are just a good person. Why do you think non-disabled people need disabled friends? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
In case you missed it be sure to check out my previous post on why disabled people need disabled friends.
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