Non-disabled people often will view disability as something bad that needs to be fixed and will say things to disabled people that are ableist that you should have kept to yourself. Disability has negatives, and it’s important that we talk about them because people will never have any understanding of the struggles of a disability if we leave the hard things out to make people more comfortable. Living with a disability is hard, but the hardest part of my disability isn’t the challenges themselves, but it’s how society treats disabled people. Disabled people are constantly being isolated by non-disabled people because the media tends to portray the disability community as helpless, and people believe it. As a disabled person, I have gotten used to ableist comments and can easily ignore them because I have been disabled my entire life, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay. I don’t think that all non-disabled people are trying to be rude when they say something ableist, and sometimes I think that people can’t recognize ableism as easily as disabled people can. What shouldn’t you say to a disabled person? In a previous post, I shared what not to say to a disabled person, but because there are so many things, I thought I would add some more.
I wish I got free money from the government– Some disabled people get money from the government for being disabled because living with a disability is more expensive, and sometimes you need it. Non-disabled people sometimes wish they got free money from the government and will tell disabled people, “I wish I got free money from the government because they are lazy and don’t work. As a disabled person, it is very annoying to me when non-disabled people make comments like this because it’s not free, and I have to be disabled to get it. I think that non-disabled people sometimes have this false belief of what the government is giving disabled people, because it’s not as much as you think, and is often barely livable. You should never tell disabled people that you wish you got free money from the government, because although I am grateful I get something, I do wish I could get off of it and have a well-paying job.
There is nothing about a disability that is positive- In the time I have been a blogger, I have gotten a couple of comments where people will say that there is nothing positive about a disability, and it’s bad. Disabled people struggle with more things than non-disabled people, and there are a lot of things about living with a disability that are frustrating that I wish would go away. Disability is not all bad, and you should never tell a disabled person that nothing about a disability is good because it’s not true. I have had a lot of positive experiences because of my disability, and I hate how the media hyper focuses on all the negatives of a disability because it makes non-disabled people think that nothing about our lives is positive. My life is different because of my disability, but that is not necessarily a bad thing because there are a lot of positives that come with living with a disability.
You are not disabled but differently abled- There are a lot of terms that you can use to identify a disabled person, and not all disabled people will prefer the same type of language. You should never tell a disabled person, “You are not disabled but differently-abled,” because it is telling a disabled person how they should identify. The language I use when talking about my disability is not up to non-disabled people, and you shouldn’t tell disabled people what language to use because it makes you more comfortable. There is nothing wrong with the term differently-abled, but not all disabled people will identify in that way, and that is okay. Disabled is not a bad word, and I prefer to identify as disabled, not differently-abled.
I wish I didn’t have to work, and you are basically on vacation- It is always funny when non-disabled people compare disability to being on vacation and will say, ” I wish I didn’t have to work and you are basically on vacation all the time.” If you have ever been disabled and gone on vacation, you would know that disability is nothing like being on vacation. Disabled people who can’t work wish they could because being stuck at home 24/7 is boring and not what it’s cracked up to be. Please stop comparing disability to being on vacation because it’s nothing like going on vacation, and it would be the world’s worst vacation if it were. Disabled people are constantly going to the doctor and dealing with health issues that non-disabled people will never understand, and if that is like going on vacation, you can have my disability.
Can I pray for you?– If you have a visible disability, it is likely that someone has approached and told you that you need prayer. As a disabled Christian, I have nothing against prayer and believe it can be a powerful thing, but I don’t think we should be cornering disabled people and insisting that we need to pray for healing of our disabilities. Some disabled people do not believe in the power of prayer and do not want to pray, and shouldn’t have to. If I am going through something, I will let someone pray for me, but I will not pray for the healing of disability. Telling a disabled person that we need prayer is a classic ableist comment and implies that you can’t live well with disability and need to be fixed. My disability is not the problem, and it’s the lack of accessibility and ableism that is the real issue. Please stop insisting that disabled people need prayer, because disabled people do not need to pray more than non-disabled people.
Non-disabled people will never understand what it’s like to be disabled unless they become disabled themselves, because there are so many parts to disability you don’t see. People sometimes will say things to disabled people with good intentions that can be considered offensive, which is why it’s so important to listen to disabled people, because it can negatively affect us. It is hard to be disabled, but it’s even harder when I have to be around people who don’t see my disability as a positive and think that I need to be fixed. Ableism negatively affects disabled people, and people should always be mindful of the language they use around disabled people and try to use supportive language. If you aren’t sure if your comment is ableist, you can always ask disabled people because we will always be more than happy to tell you. What would you never say to a disabled person? If you liked this post, be sure to check part one of this post and leave a comment below, and share it with your friends.
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