What Doctors Need To Be Saying To Their Disabled Patients

Doctors appointments are stressful for everyone because you never know if your doctor is going to take your symptoms seriously. It can be even more stressful for disabled and chronically ill people because a lot of the time we have complex health issues that not all doctors understand. Disabled patients often go to the doctor more than non-disabled people because we have more health issues that require more doctor’s visits. Disabled people often are very bitter toward doctors because we aren’t always believed and sometimes have a lot of medical trauma. Patients need the support of their medical team to help them cope with their health issues, but sometimes we don’t feel supported because our doctor doesn’t validate our feelings. Patients shouldn’t fear going to the doctor, but so many of us do because doctors sometimes say the wrong thing or treat their disabled patients differently than they would their non-disabled patients. There are a lot of issues in healthcare that are not the fault of your medical team, but sometimes doctors don’t say things to patients enough that make them feel believed. What do I wish doctors said more of? In this post, I am sharing a few things that doctors need to be saying to patients to better support them.

I believe you- Some doctors are arrogant and will dismiss patients because they spent years studying a condition and think they are the smartest guy in the room. I don’t think that all doctors are horrible people, but I do wish that more doctors would tell patients that they believe their symptoms are real. Sometimes doctors do believe their patients but never tell them that they don’t think their symptoms are anxiety and believe them. It takes a huge weight off your shoulders when you hear your doctor tell you, “I believe you.” Patients sometimes need to hear that from their doctor because you can’t assume we know that. Sometimes patients don’t feel like their doctor believes, and when you say you do, it makes medical appointments less stressful and gives you hope that you will get better care.

It must be hard, but I am here to support you- It is hard to live with a health condition, and it doesn’t matter how many years you spend studying my condition; you don’t know what I am going through. Non-disabled people often will tell a disabled person that they understand what we are going through because they think that is what we want to hear. I never want my doctor to try to relate to my disability, but I would like it if more doctors would tell patients that they know what they are going through is hard and they are here to support them in any way they can. It is reassuring when a doctor recognizes that it is hard to be disabled, but instead of trying to relate to their disability, they offer support. Non-disabled people are always trying to relate to a disabled person, but don’t tell us enough that they know it’s hard, because sometimes disabled people need to hear that. Disabled people sometimes need to be reminded that what they are doing is enough, and people don’t say that enough.

Your pain is not your fault- When you live with chronic pain, you often blame yourself for your chronic pain and have a lot of guilt. It is only making things worse when doctors dismiss pain and tell them it’s just a little anxiety and to meditate. I wish more doctors would tell chronic pain patients that their pain is not their fault because a lot of people make us feel like it is. Patients sometimes need to be reminded by doctors that their pain is not their fault to help get rid of some of the guilt they have. People are very quick to tell chronic pain patients how to cure themselves, but no one tells us that what we are experiencing is not our fault and may not have been in our control to prevent.

I am not going to give up on you- When you have a new diagnosis, sometimes doctors give up too quickly because they don’t understand your symptoms. As a disabled patient, one of my biggest fears when going to the doctor with new symptoms is not being taken seriously and giving up because my pain is not easy to see. I don’t expect my doctor to have all the answers, and there are going to be times when they don’t know, and I have to go to someone else. I wish more doctors would tell patients that they aren’t going to give up on them, because sometimes it feels like they are giving up. A new diagnosis is hard, but sometimes the hardest part is finding a doctor who isn’t going to give up on you. Hearing those words ” I am not giving up” is one of the best things you can say to someone struggling with a complex health issue because sometimes patients think you are giving up on them and don’t know what to do.

You know your body better than I do- When you are disabled, it can be difficult to advocate for yourself because people think that you aren’t able to. Doctors spend a lot of years in school studying medical conditions and sometimes think that they are the smartest guy in the room and know more than their patients. My doctors can give you a better science lesson on my disability than I ever will be able to, but they don’t know my body better than I do. I wish more doctors would tell patients that no one knows your body better than you do, and if something doesn’t feel normal to you, it’s probably not in your head. Doctors who aren’t afraid to admit they don’t know everything are the best kind of doctors, and patients sometimes need to hear their doctors say that.

Doctors are trained to heal, and sometimes people think that the only thing disabled people want is to be cured. As a disabled person, I do want solutions for my pain, but I don’t expect my doctor to cure me, and I do not get upset when they don’t have all the answers. Doctor’s appointments are stressful when you live with chronic health issues, and sometimes the only thing you want from your doctor is a little compassion and to be believed. Disabled people may not be so bitter toward doctors if our doctors took the time to tell us that they believe what we are experiencing is real. We should be getting support from our medical team, but sometimes we are being talked down to, and it doesn’t feel that way. If you are a doctor or studying to be one, please don’t forget to tell your patients that you believe them, because we need to hear that sometimes. What do you think doctors need to be telling patients to better support them? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.

---

Subscribe And Never Miss A Post