Doctors are necessary in healthcare because if it wasn’t for people spending years of their life studying medicine a lot of people would not live very long. As a disabled person, I could never become a surgeon because I don’t have the brains or stomach to cut people open for a living, but I do have a lot of respect for people who choose to go down that path because someone has to do it. Many non-disabled people in good health can choose not ever to go to the doctor but disabled people often do not have that choice because we need medication that we cannot get without going to the doctor. Disabled people sometimes have a lot of medical trauma because it can be difficult to advocate for yourself as a disabled person and get your doctor to listen to you. Patients sometimes have trust issues with doctors because they say things that are dismissive that they should have kept to themselves. What should doctors never say to patients? In this post, I am going to talk about a few things that doctors should never say to anyone.
I totally understand what you are going through- Non-disabled people sometimes think they can relate to the challenges of a disability because they know a disabled person. Most people mean well when they tell disabled people that they completely understand what we are going through and are saying it because they are trying to connect with us. If you don’t have my disability and have never gone through any of the surgeries, I have you should never tell a disabled person that you understand what I am going through. Medical school is hard, but it doesn’t matter how many years you spend studying my disability you will never know everything because there are some things school can’t teach you. It can be very damaging for a doctor to tell a patient that they understand what we are going through because you don’t and at the end of the day get to walk away from my disability, but I don’t. I don’t need you to try and relate to my disability because I know most people can’t and I would rather you ask me if there is anything you can do to support me rather than tell me you understand what I am going through.
You are going to have to live with the pain- As a disabled person, I do not expect my doctors to cure me or know everything about my disability because it is impossible to know everything. I think that I am a very understanding patient, and I won’t usually get upset with my doctor for making mistakes because I know doctors aren’t superhumans and will make mistakes. There are going to be times when you are in pain and your doctor has no idea what is causing it because there are so many medical conditions that are not understood. I don’t get upset when my doctor doesn’t know something and if you need to Google something while I am in the room, I will not shame you for it because doctors looking things up that they aren’t sure about is a sign of a good doctor. I do get upset when I am in pain and doctors tell me to live with the pain because it’s a highly insensitive way to say, “I don’t know.” If you don’t know something that is fine but please say anything other than live with the pain because not having answers is very devasting to patients and you are only adding to that trauma when you are sensitive to someone’s feelings.
You would cure your pain if you lost weight– If you have gained a lot of weight over a short period of time and are experiencing joint issues it might help to lose weight, but not all health issues are because of someone’s weight. As a disabled person with a small body, I have never had a doctor blame a health issue on my weight because I am a healthy weight, and it usually happens to people with bigger bodies. Weight stigma is everywhere in healthcare, and it can be very difficult to find a weight-inclusive provider because a lot of doctors are stuck in diet culture and prescribe weight loss before doing any other tests. Weight loss can help some people improve their health but before you prescribe Weight Watchers as a cure for pain you should do a thorough exam because sometimes someone’s weight is not the problem and losing weight does not always improve it.
You are probably just anxious- When I first started experiencing seizures, which I no longer have I went to a neurologist who told me that I was not having seizures because there was no seizure activity on my EEG, and I was probably stressed and needed therapy. Seizures can cause a lot of stress and anxiety but if I had listened to my doctor and gotten therapy, I would have continued to have seizures because I needed medication, not therapy. If you have a patient with severe pain the worst thing you can do is tell them is what they are experiencing is not real and is just anxiety. It is okay if you don’t understand my pain, but I promise you that my pain is not anxiety and is very much real. I can handle a lot of stress because of my disability and although pain can make you more anxious it’s not the cause of it.
You should never Google symptoms- If you were to tell a doctor that you looked up your symptoms online and think you have a certain health condition, they would probably get mad because doctors hate it when patients Google their symptoms. I understand why doctors get annoyed when patients Google their symptoms because most of the good ones have their patients’ best interests at heart and don’t want them to get incorrect information. The reason why a lot of patients Google their symptoms and diagnose themselves is because they have been dismissed over and over again and feel like they have no choice. I don’t diagnose myself with the Internet and leave that up to the real experts, but once I have a diagnosis, sometimes, I will use the Internet to learn more about it because doctors don’t tell you everything. If every doctor listened to patients, we wouldn’t feel like we had to Google our symptoms, but sometimes it’s the only way to be able to advocate for yourself.
Medical appointments can be a very scary experience for disabled people with a lot of health issues, because you never know if you are going to have a positive experience. Disabled people often have a lot of negative experiences because it can be harder to get doctors to take them seriously. As a disabled person, I have had a couple of negative healthcare experiences, but for the most part, I have had mostly positive ones, but do hold a lot of space for people who are constantly dismissed because there is nothing worse than waiting months to see a doctor who doesn’t listen to you. Disabled people often are very bitter towards doctors because of negative experiences they have had, but that could change if people were going into medicine for the right reasons and listened to us. My doctor may be able to give me a better science lesson on my disability, but they don’t know my body better than I do. We need more understanding healthcare providers because arrogant doctors who think they know everything are part of the problem. What do you think doctors should never say to patients? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
Subscribe And Never Miss A Post
My Rockin Disabled Life 