Disability acceptance can be difficult for disabled and chronically ill people because we live in a world that think there is something wrong with disabled people that needs to be fixed. Many disabled and chronically ill people have to learn to come to terms with their disabilities because a vast majority of disabilities have no cure, but it’s not easy when disabled people are isolated and treated differently than non-disabled people. Disability is everything I have ever known because I was born with a disability, and sometimes people may think that because I don’t know what it’s like to not be disabled, that I have always loved my disability, but that is not true, and I have struggled with disability acceptance. I have had a slightly easier time accepting my disability because I’ve had it my whole life, but it doesn’t matter how long you have been disabled; you can still struggle to accept your disability. There is nothing easy about accepting the fact that you aren’t getting better and that people will treat you differently because of your disability. Disability acceptance is hard, and it can take some people years to come to terms with their disability. How do you learn to accept an incurable disability or chronic illness? In this post, I am going to talk about what helped me learn to accept my incurable disability.
Focus on what you can do not what you can’t- When you are disabled, it is easy to get frustrated with the challenges of your disability and stress about things that you cannot control. My disability prevents me from being able to do a lot of physical tasks, and there is nothing I can do to change that, but I would have never accepted my disability if I let myself get depressed about all the things I can’t do that I wish I could. I can’t stress enough how important it is to focus on what your disability does not prevent you from doing instead of making lists of all the things you can’t do. It is frustrating that I can’t participate in a lot of activities with my non-disabled sisters, and it is okay to be frustrated, but you should never let your challenges prevent you from being able to enjoy life. Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t, because wishing you could do more things is not going to get you to a place of acceptance.
Talk to another disabled person– Non-disabled people can sometimes help a disabled person see the beauty of their disability, but people without disabilities cannot help disabled people get to a place of acceptance to the extent a disabled person can. Non-disabled people do not know what it’s like to be disabled and cannot tell a disabled person that they understand what we are going through like a disabled person who lives with these challenges would be able to. Non-disabled people sometimes will tell disabled people that disability is beautiful, and we just need to learn to accept our disability, but it’s not that simple, and saying something like that is a little dismissive and can make a disabled person feel shame if they can’t accept their disability easily. Non-disabled people sometimes mean well, but if you are truly struggling with accepting your disability, you need to talk to another disabled person who is going to validate your feelings instead of making you feel there is something wrong with you. Disabled people can make more of an impact when it comes to disability acceptance because we know how hard it is, and I would never take disability acceptance advice from a non-disabled person.
Don’t compare yourself to non-disabled people- When you are disabled it is easy to start comparing yourself to people without disabilities, but it’s so important that you don’t do that because it’s an unfair comparison. Non-disabled people are going to be able to do more than disabled people, and that is to be expected because people without disabilities don’t struggle with challenges that disabled people do. Please try to not to compare yourself to the abilities of non-disabled people or hold yourself to the same standard as them because you are different and that is okay. The worst thing you can do for your acceptance journey is to start comparing yourself to non-disabled people because you are never going to be able to do things in the same capacity as them. Focus on yourself because what other people are doing should not concern you. Everyone accepts their disability at different rates, and that is okay because it doesn’t matter how long it takes, and the only thing that matters is that you are putting in the work to get there.
Remember that disability acceptance is a process- Non-disabled people sometimes think that disabled people wake up one day and all of a sudden love their disabled body, but that is so far from the truth. Some people struggle with accepting their disabilities, and it is important to give yourself some grace and recognize that acceptance does not happen overnight. It can take some people years to learn to come to terms with their disability, and that is okay because people accept their disability at different rates, and there is no timeline that you need to accept your disability by. Disability acceptance is a process, and there is nothing wrong with you if it takes you a little longer to accept your disability than it did for your disabled friend. Every disability has different challenges, and people who struggle more are going to take longer to accept their disability than those who don’t have less challenges.
Try to see your disability as a difference– Non-disabled people often will call disabled people retarded and a lot of other hurtful names because disability is often not acceptable by society. It can be hard to see your disability as a positive when all your peers are saying that you need to be fixed, which is why it can be so beneficial for disabled people to look at their disability as a difference instead of something that needs to be cured. When you see your disability as a difference, it can be life-changing because it turns something that most people see as a negative into a positive. I may move in a different way than a non-disabled person, but that is what makes me different, which isn’t a bad thing.
Try to ignore ableist comments- Disabled people are constantly learning to navigate ableism because it’s everywhere, and you can’t escape. I am constantly hearing ableist comments from non-disabled people that they probably didn’t even realize were ableist, and if I let all of these comments bother me, I would have never accepted my disability. Disabled people sometimes struggle with disability acceptance because of the things non-disabled people say to us, and I try my best to ignore ableist comments.
When you have been diagnosed with an incurable disability, it can be hard to come to terms with your disability, but a lot of people have to because, despite what TV shows want you to believe, doctors can’t always cure you. It is not surprising that disabled people sometimes struggle with accepting their disability because we live in a world surrounded by ableism and inaccessibility, which makes coming to terms with your disability a little more challenging. It is okay if you are not able to accept your disability right away because most people don’t, and it’s not something that will happen overnight. There is nothing wrong with you if it takes longer to accept your disability because even people who have been disabled their whole lives struggle with acceptance. I think that ableism and the lack of accessibility play a major role in disabled people struggling to accept their disability because if we made progress in making the world more inclusive, and if disabled people weren’t isolated, it wouldn’t be so hard to accept your disability. If you have struggled to accept your disability, remember that you are not alone, and all disabled people go through that. How did you learn to accept your disability? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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