When you have been disabled your whole life, disability is everything you have ever known, and it is a little easier to adapt because you have been doing it your whole life. It is a little more difficult when you are newly disabled because you haven’t been disabled as long and have to relearn how to do everything to accommodate your new disability. Disability changes your life and can happen to anyone because all it takes is a horrific car accident or illness to instantly become disabled, and a vast majority of disabilities are not birth defects. When you become disabled, sometimes it can feel overwhelming because you have to relearn how to do everything, and disability is often not accepted by non-disabled people and is something that people think needs to be fixed. Newly disabled people sometimes have a harder time accepting their new disability because we are surrounded by ableism, and not all disabled people have someone in their life who understands. In this post, I have learned through years of being disabled that newly disabled people need to know.
Assistive devices are not a sign of weakness- Some disabled people do not need to use assistive devices because not all disabled people have difficulty walking and will need a wheelchair. Disabled people are sometimes hesitant to use assistive devices because non-disabled people often tell us that assistive devices are a sign of weakness and that we should get rid of them. Never let anyone tell you that if you use assistive devices, it means you are weak and giving up, because that is ableist and you are only hurting yourself by refusing to use them. I have a physical disability, and my crutches and wheelchair give me independence because without them, I would not have any independence. Assistive devices are not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength because it takes a strong person to realize that sometimes you need a little help. Assistive devices make the lives of disabled people easier and safer, and you should not be ashamed to use them.
It is okay to ask for help- When you are disabled, sometimes you will require more help than non-disabled people because our disabilities require more assistance. Non-disabled people sometimes will make a disabled person feel guilty for needing a little more help and will roll their eyes at us when we ask for assistance on simple tasks. Independence is important for disabled people, and I don’t think that disabled people should be taking advantage of non-disabled people asking for help with tasks they are capable of doing, but are too lazy. At the same time, it is important to remember that disability prevents you from doing some tasks, and it is okay if you need help with tasks that most people can do. I would consider myself mostly independent, but there are some tasks my physical disability prevents me from being able to do independently, and that is okay because I can’t change my disability. It is okay to ask for help because even non-disabled people need a little help sometimes. Never be afraid to ask for help if you can’t do something because it’s always better to have someone do something for you than try to do it yourself and get injured.
Your disability may affect your relationships- Disability makes it more difficult to make friends because people are ableist, but it can also affect the relationships you do have with people and cause them to fall apart. Disability can sometimes strengthen friendships because friendships with a disabled person look different, but sometimes people don’t understand and want to cure you all the time, which negatively affects friendships. The friendships I have are stronger because of my disability, but I have had friends that I walked away from because they couldn’t accept my disability. It is sad that a disability you cannot control causes friendships to fall apart, but it does, and newly disabled people should be aware of that. You are not the problem, and you didn’t do anything wrong, because ableism is what makes these things happen.
Get used to unsolicited health advice– Disabled people are constantly getting unsolicited health advice because non-disabled people often think that if we tried a little harder, we could cure ourselves. People are sometimes going to ask you personal questions, and it is okay not to answer every question because you are not entitled to a disabled person’s medical history. If you are uncomfortable telling people why you are disabled, it is okay to say nothing because sometimes your disability story is traumatic, and you don’t want to talk about it. Strangers will give you unsolicited health advice, whether you ask for it or not, and it is okay to ignore health advice from strangers.
It’s okay to grieve your old life– I have been disabled my whole life, and disability is everything I have ever known. As a disabled person, I have no memories of what it’s like to not be disabled, but a vast majority of disabilities are not birth defects and were acquired later in life. If you are newly disabled, you may have memories of what it’s like to not be disabled, and you may grieve your old life and get sad sometimes. It is hard to be disabled, because we live in a world that is designed for non-disabled people, and there is nothing wrong with wanting your life to be easier.
Disability is hard for everyone, but it can be even harder for newly disabled people because everything that was once easy is now very difficult. As a disabled person, I struggle with a lot of things that come easily to non-disabled people, but I have been disabled my whole life, and by this point, I am used to navigating an inaccessible world. It is frustrating to be disabled, but I would rather be disabled my whole life and not know what it’s like to lose ability. When you become disabled, there are a lot of things to learn, but you don’t have to do it alone, and you can always reach out to disabled people who have been disabled longer than you for help. Listen to disabled people, even if you aren’t disabled, because our experiences matter, and if you were to become disabled, you would need us to help make your life easier. What advice would you give a newly disabled person? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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My Rockin Disabled Life 
Lots of food for thought … Sarah.
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