When you have been disabled your whole life, you learn how to adapt to make your life easier but when you become disabled it sometimes is more difficult to break through barriers because we live in an inaccessible world, and you don’t have the experience that long-term disabled people do. Disability changes your life and can happen to anyone because all it takes is a horrific car accident or illness to instantly become disabled and a vast majority of disabilities are not birth defects. When you become disabled sometimes it can feel overwhelming because you have to relearn how to do everything and not everyone gets a lot of support and would know where to start. Newly disabled people sometimes have a harder time accepting their new disability because we are surrounded by ableism and live in a society where it is often believed that all disabilities need cures and that you can’t live well with a disability. I have been disabled my whole and have not struggled in ways newly disabled people have because disability is everything I have ever known. In this post, I am going to share everything I think every newly disabled person should know.
Assistive devices are not weakness- Some disabled people do not need to use assistive devices because not all disabled people need crutches or a wheelchair to move around, but some people do. Disabled people are sometimes hesitant to use assistive devices because we are often shamed for using them and told that assistive devices are weakness and that we should get rid of them. Never let anyone tell you that if you use assistive devices, it means you are weak and giving up, because that is ableist and not true at all. I have a physical disability, and my crutches and wheelchair give me independence because without them, I would not have any independence. Assistive devices are not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength because it takes a strong person to realize that sometimes you need a little help. I will never understand why glasses are acceptable to use but not a wheelchair, because both of these things are assistive devices, and the only difference is what we use them for. If assistive devices make your life easier, please use them, and don’t let the opinions of others stop you!
It is okay to ask for help- When you are disabled, sometimes you will require more help than non-disabled people because our disabilities require more assistance. Non-disabled people sometimes will make a disabled person feel guilty for needing a little more help because people often believe that we should try to do everything ourselves and that asking for help is laziness, Independence is important for disabled people and I think that disabled people shouldn’t rely on non-disabled people for everything if they don’t have to but at the same time you shouldn’t be embarrassed to ask for help. I would consider myself mostly independent but there are some tasks my physical disability prevents me from being able to do independently and that is okay because I can’t change my disability. It is okay to ask for help because even non-disabled people need a little help sometimes. Never be afraid to ask for help if you can’t do something because it’s always better to have someone do something for you than try to do it yourself and get injured.
Your disability may affect your relationships- Disability makes it more difficult to make friends because people are ableist, but it can also affect the relationships you do have with people and cause them to fall apart. Disability can sometimes strengthen friendships because it challenges you in different ways, but sometimes people don’t understand and want to cure you all the time, which negatively affects friendships. The friendships I do have, I think, are stronger because of my disability, but I have had friends that I walked away from because they couldn’t accept my disability. It is sad that a disability you cannot control causes friendships to fall apart, but it does, and newly disabled people should be aware of that. You are not the problem and didn’t do anything wrong because ableism is what makes these things happen.
Get used to unsolicited health advice-Disabled people get more unsolicited health advice than non-disabled people because it is often believed that we can cure ourselves by eating more spinach. As a disabled person, I don’t like getting unsolicited advice because often it is not helpful and implies that you think I am not doing everything I can to improve my health, but I can’t stop people from giving me unsolicited health advice. In the years I have been disabled, I have been given more health advice than I care to admit and learned how to block out unsolicited health advice, and it doesn’t even faze me anymore because I expect people to give me unhelpful advice. If you are newly disabled, get used to unsolicited advice because as soon as people find out you have a disability, they will give it to you whether you want it or not
You don’t owe anyone an explanation– A common question that non-disabled people often ask disabled people is what happened to us because they are nosy and think we owe it to them. If you are newly disabled, and someone approaches you with that question, sometimes people think that you have to tell them every detail about your health, but you don’t owe anyone anything about your health. If you are uncomfortable telling people why you are disabled, it is okay not to because our health is personal, and disabled people aren’t obligated to give you any information, even if you are curious. People will ask you what is wrong with you and think you owe them an explanation, but you should never feel like you have to give out personal details to strangers. It is okay if you tell strangers nothing because it’s not your job to prove your disability to others.
Disability is hard for everyone, but it can be even harder for newly disabled people because everything that was once easy is now very difficult. As a disabled person, I struggle with a lot of things that come easily to non-disabled people, but I have never not been disabled, and it is a little easier for me to navigate challenges because I have been doing it my whole life. It is frustrating to be disabled, but I would rather be disabled my whole life than become that way because it’s hard to lose the ability you once had and I would rather not have it all. When you become disabled, there are a lot of things to learn but you don’t have to do it alone and you can always reach out to disabled people who have been disabled longer than you for help. Listen to disabled people, even if you aren’t disabled because our experiences matter and if you were to become disabled you would need us to help make your life easier. What advice would you give a newly disabled person? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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My Rockin Disabled Life 
Lots of food for thought … Sarah.
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