If you are disabled, it is likely that you have been approached by a non-disabled person and have been given some kind of unsolicited health advice. Disabled people with more visible disabilities often will be given more health advice than someone with an invisible disability, because we don’t have the privilege of being able to hide our disabilities like someone with an invisible disability. People often think that they are being helpful when they give unsolicited health advice, but from my experience, most disabled people get annoyed by it and don’t want or need your advice because we know how to manage our disabilities better than people who aren’t disabled. As a disabled person, I have been given more unsolicited health advice than I care to admit, and although sometimes people give me suggestions that I have not tried, most times it’s not helpful. Why don’t I like unsolicited health advice? In this post, I am going to talk about why I get annoyed when people give me health advice, I did not ask for.
It implies you don’t think I am doing enough- When people give me unsolicited advice sometimes people see me struggling and want to help but a vast majority of the time it’s insulting, and people give me advice because they think that what I am doing isn’t working and their suggestions is better. I was born with a disability and am not disabled because I didn’t eat enough spinach or didn’t do enough exercise. You can’t exercise a disability away because if you could I would have done it and no one knows how to manage a disability better than disabled people who live with it. Most times it is insulting when people give me unsolicited advice because it implies that you don’t think that I am doing everything within my control to have less pain and need help.
It often suggests cures- I get annoyed when people give me unsolicited health advice because most of the time when people give me health advice it suggests some kind of cure. Disabled people can benefit from healthy eating like everyone can and you can improve pain levels by making lifestyle changes, but it can be harmful when you give someone a remedy and tell them if they do that thing that they will cure themselves. Some disabled people want to be cured and when you give someone advice and tell them it will remove all of their challenges a lot of people are going to be expecting that to happen, and you better be sure it does because if doesn’t it gives disabled people false hope. It is one thing to give someone advice because you think it will help improve their life but is something totally different when it suggests a cure which is why I shut it down health advice most of the time.
Most times it’s things I have tried- When people give me unsolicited health advice a lot of time people are trying to be helpful and probably think they are being helpful but the reality is most of the time your remedy is something I have heard one hundred times and is not helpful. Yes, I have tried drinking more water for constipation relief but still sometimes struggle with constipation because my bowels do not work properly, and it is a little insulting when you suggest things that are so obvious and everyone knows. You are not helping me when you suggest things that I have tried or am currently doing and if you want to help me improve my pain you have to give me remedies, I have not tried. Most times when people give me health advice it’s the same types of remedies that I hear multiple times a day and is not helpful. Sometimes a family member who understands the challenges of my disability will give me helpful advice but a vast majority of the time people do not give me remedies I have not tried.
Disabled people don’t always need your advice- When people see a disabled person struggling, it is often assumed that we need your advice but even though I have higher pain levels that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I am doing, and need your advice but most times I probably don’t want your advice. It can be exhausting to constantly get unsolicited health advice because disabled people don’t always want or need your advice and are perfectly capable of managing their health condition without your advice. I know my body more than anyone and unless I ask for it, I probably have my pain well managed and don’t want to hear the remedy you think I haven’t tried but have. You should never assume that just because I have a disability, I need your advice because I live with a disability and am constantly thinking of ways to make my life easier and know more about what works and what doesn’t than people without my disability.
Disabled people are constantly given unsolicited health advice, and it can be exhausting because I don’t always need your advice and sometimes, I don’t want to talk about my disability. If you have a remedy that you think could help me, there is nothing wrong with asking if I am open to hearing your suggestion, but you should never assume that you know my disability better than I do and need your advice. Health advice can sometimes be helpful but if you are not my doctor unsolicited health advice is often frowned upon. You should only give disabled people health advice if we ask for it because if you volunteer it without asking most of the time disabled people will roll their eyes at you and ignore your suggestion. I have learned to block out people who see my disability and randomly give me advice because a lot of the time it’s insulting or suggests cures. How do you feel about getting unsolicited health advice? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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