February is National Heart Month! Dating apps have made it very easy for people to find their soul mates and over fifty percent of people find their life-long partners online. I am not against people using dating apps and think they can be a great option for a vast majority of non-disabled people but because of my disability I will never use them and if I ever were to date someone it would be someone I met in real-life not online. Disabled people can use dating apps, and some people may have great success using them but when you are disabled it’s different because disabled people have to think about things that a non-disabled person wouldn’t have to, and it is more difficult to find a partner that can see past your disability. Disabled people can use dating apps but the success rate of disabled people finding love through an app is much lower than non-disabled people because most apps are not designed for us. Why don’t I use dating apps to find love? In this post, I am going to talk about why I will never use a dating app because of my disability.
You can easily be taken advantage of- Disabled people are often taken advantage of by non-disabled people because people think we are stupid and always looking for ways to use your disability to their advantage. You should never use someone’s disability to your advantage because it makes disabled people feel violated, but people still will if you let them. Most disabled people are able to recognize when they are being taken advantage of, but it is a lot harder to tell when you are being taken advantage of online than it would be in person. You can easily be taken advantage of online because people can pretend to love you to get your information so they can scam you later. In high school, I had a friend who met someone online through a dating app but as soon as she met her partner took advantage of her and convinced her she was poor, so she gave her money. Disabled people aren’t always going to be taken advantage of online, but it can happen, and I would rather meet someone in person who can clearly see that I am disabled because it’s easier to read people when you are in the room with them. It’s not that you can’t be taken advantage of in person but it’s a lot harder because people can’t lie as easily as they can online.
Disabled people sometimes face discrimination– If I were to meet someone online, I would not try and hide my disability because I have a visible disability, and they are going to find out once we meet in person so there is no point lying about it. I would rather them find out early on because I don’t want to waste my time getting to know someone who has a problem with my disability and will end up dumping me later. Disabled people are always facing discrimination and ableism everywhere we go but it can particularly be a problem online because people say things online that they would never say in real life. I have had friends who have used dating apps that face a lot of discrimination and get no interest, and I don’t need that kind of stress in my life. Disabled people sometimes feel unlovable because of the discrimination they face online, and I don’t want those kinds of feelings unnecessarily.
Dating apps can be expensive- As a disabled person, I get some money from the government but am on a very limited income and do have to be more mindful of the subscriptions I pay for. Some dating apps are free but most of the good reputable ones will cost you some money which can be a worthwhile investment for most people. If I thought I would find love through an app I might consider paying for a subscription but because of my disability, I don’t think I will find love and don’t want to waste money on something that probably will end up being a waste of money. Dating apps can be expensive and is not an expense that I need because I already do not make a lot of money and do not need to be splurging on things that are not completely necessary.
I have no desire to- As a single disabled person. people always ask me why I haven’t joined a dating because we live in a world where everyone thinks you need to be in a relationship to be happy. If I met someone that I found attractive I might consider dating them but as of right now I am embracing the single life and have no desire to be in a relationship. People often think that I need to have a partner because I am in my thirties but I don’t think that being in a relationship is the key to happiness and you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. If I meet someone that is great but if I don’t that is fine too because I don’t need a partner to be loved.
Dating apps can be a great option for a lot of people who want to find love but haven’t been able to meet someone in person but it’s not that easy for disabled people. Dating is different with a disability because there is so much disability stigma, and we have to try to get people to see past our disability that a non-disabled person wouldn’t even have to think about. As a single disabled person, sometimes I wonder what it’s like to be in relationship but have never had any desire to join a dating app because most things I hear about disabled people using dating apps aren’t positive experiences. If there was a dating app that was specifically designed for disabled people, I might consider it but since there isn’t one to my knowledge I am not even thinking about trying one. Do you use dating apps with a disability if so, which ones have you succeeded with? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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