Kids look up to their parents and the adult figures in their lives, and what we do in front of kids can either positively influence them or make them engage in bad behavior. I am not a parent, nor will I ever be, but I am an aunt to three nieces, and I do try to be a positive influence on them because I don’t want them to struggle with things not related to my disability that I have struggled with in the past. Adults are role models to kids because kids will repeat things that they hear from adults, and it’s so important that we be mindful of the things we do and say in front of kids to ensure the things they repeat are what we want them to be saying. I am not perfect and sometimes will say things in front of my nieces that I immediately regret, that I wish I would never come out of my mouth, because things slip sometimes. I do not influence my nieces as much as their parents do, but I do try and be a positive role model to them because you never know what things they are picking up from you. There are some things that you will never see me do in front of my nieces or any child because it can be harmful and negatively impact them. In this post, I am going to talk about a few things that I would never say in front of my nieces or any child.
Talk about the diet I am following– If you were talking about a diet you were following in front of a one-year-old, it would probably be fine because someone of that age would likely not understand what that even meant. When kids get to an age where they do understand it is so important that we don’t talk about the diet we are following, because kids are learning how to eat right and don’t need to be concerned about the food they are eating and it’s up to the parents to teach them how to eat healthy. If I were following a specific type of diet, you would never hear me talk about it in front of kids or eat a completely different meal in front of them unless I had food sensitivities and couldn’t eat what was being served. We live in a world surrounded by diet culture that we can’t escape, and the only way we can help our kids develop a positive relationship with food is by avoiding diet talk in front of them and not talking negatively about food. Families sometimes have a bad habit of talking about their latest diet at the dinner table, which is fine if the only people present are adults, but if kids are there, you should talk about something else.
Making negative body remarks– Kids don’t usually get concerned about the way their body looks until someone says something to them that makes them self-conscious about their body. Adults are sometimes stuck in diet culture and spend so much time trying to shrink their bodies as small as possible because people often think it’s healthy. Kids usually are very body-positive until they meet someone who makes them feel like their body isn’t good enough and they need to be smaller. You will never hear me say “I wish I could lose weight” in front of my nieces because kids can start to be concerned about the way their body looks as young as eight years old, (maybe even younger) and the only way to prevent that from happening is to not make negative body remarks. I will never make negative body remarks in front of children because that could cause them to have body image issues later in life, and I never want any child to struggle with body image like I have. You can’t completely shield your children from diet culture, but you can teach them positive body image.
Say anything negative about my disability- I try to give my nieces as much disability education as I can, so they don’t turn into ableist adults, and I am very careful about how I talk about my disability around them. Disability can happen to anyone, and one of the things you will never see me do in front of any child is say anything negative about my disability. You will never hear me tell my nieces that if they continue to misbehave, they will break a leg and never get better, because anyone can become disabled, and we shouldn’t be making kids fear disability. Kids will view disability as bad unless we teach them that it’s not, and when you make your kids fear disability to get them to listen, you are contributing to the problem. It is so important that parents teach their kids about different abilities, whether they have a disability or not, because parents who avoid these hard conversations turn their kids into ableist adults who think people who are different need to be fixed. It is already hard enough to teach our kids the positives of a disability because of how wrongly the disabled community is portrayed in the media, and you will only make it worse when you talk negatively about a disability and make them fear it.
Tell them that I am going to be fixed- Most of my nieces have gotten to the age where they are curious why I use crutches and don’t walk like everyone. When I am trying to explain to young children why I can’t walk, I won’t use the word disability to a three-year-old because they will not understand what that means, and I usually will tell them that my legs are broken. It is hard to tell children that you are never getting better because they may see that as a negative, but it is so important that we don’t lie to them and say we are getting better. You will never hear me tell any child that my legs will one day be fixed and I won’t need crutches, because they will expect that to happen, and when it doesn’t, kids will be very upset. Kids sometimes think medicine can fix everything, and it’s so important that we teach them that doctors don’t know everything and can’t always fix you. I hate having these hard conversations, especially with children, who don’t understand but sometimes you have to.
Kids look up to the adult figures in their lives, and it’s so important that we be positive role models for them. My nieces of a lot of positive influences in their lives, and I love that for them, but the one thing I can provide them that the other aunts and uncles can’t teach as effectively as I can is disability education. I can’t do a lot of things the other aunts can, but I can teach my nieces how to talk to disabled people, so they aren’t the ones making fun of people who look different. There is nothing wrong with talking about your diet with other adults, but if kids are in the room, you should avoid the subject because the way we talk about our bodies matters. I don’t say things around kids that I would say to my adult sisters because sometimes kids can perceive things in a different way, that is not always good. It is important that we don’t curse in front of kids, but we also want to make sure we are talking about disability in a positive way. What would you never say in front of children? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
Subscribe And Never Miss A Post
My Rockin Disabled Life 