Non-disabled people sometimes think that the hardest part of a disability is the lack of cures and accepting the reality that you are not getting better. Disability acceptance is hard, but the lack of cures is not the hardest part of my disability, and as a matter of fact, I don’t think about cures very often, and the only time I might think about it is when a non-disabled person brings it up and tells me I need one. It is hard to be disabled in a world designed for non-disabled people, but it’s not for the reasons you may think, because the fact that my legs don’t work is not the hardest part of my disability. I have assistive devices that help me get around more easily, and not being able to walk like everyone else does not bother me. Cures would make my life infinitely easier because it would remove my physical disability that limits me so much, but the lack of cures is not the problem; it’s the lack of accessibility and ableism that makes disabled people feel isolated and struggle more than we would if the world were more accessible. What is the hardest part of being disabled? In this post, I am sharing the hardest parts of my disability.
Accepting the reality, people see your disability before they see you- Disabled people are often isolated by non-disabled people because they see your disability and make judgments before getting to know you. It can be difficult to make friends as a disabled person with a physical disability, and one of the hardest parts of being disabled is accepting the reality that some people will see your disability before they see you and treat you differently. I wish I knew what it felt like to be treated like a normal human being and that people could get past the wheelchair, but that will never be my reality. I will never be able to go to a job interview without having to prove my ability or sign up for a dating app without worrying about someone discriminating against my disability. Disabled people sometimes get desperate for cures because they want to know what it feels like to not be isolated and treated like everyone else. Accepting the reality that people are going to isolate you because of a disability is possibly the hardest part of being disabled, and I hate that I have to accept the reality that people are going to see my disability before they see me as an individual.
Learning how to navigate ableism – Ableism is a form of discrimination and social prejudice with the belief that the abilities of non-disabled people are superior and that disabled people need to be fixed. Ableism is everywhere, and anyone, including disabled people, can be ableist, and disabled people are constantly hearing ableist comments from strangers and loved ones in our lives who probably meant well. Disabled people are forced to learn how to navigate ableism because you can’t escape it, but it’s hard because it makes me so angry and can negatively affect a disabled person’s mental health. Ableism is one of the most frustrating parts of being disabled, and is the reason why a lot of disabled people struggle to accept their disability because it doesn’t make you feel good about yourself when you are constantly told that you need to be fixed.. If people were less ableist, disabled people might see their differences as a positive and may not be so desperate to get rid of them.
Not being included in things everyone else is- When you are disabled, sometimes you have to accept the reality that you are going to be left out of things that everyone else is doing. People are not going to invite you to events because it may not be accessible to you, and they think they are doing you a favor by not inviting you at all. Disability can feel lonely and isolating sometimes because you don’t always have someone in your life who can relate to the challenges of a disability, and sometimes you feel alone. It is hard to sit out of activities that everyone else is doing because accessibility was an afterthought, and there is no worse feeling than the feeling of isolation. Disabled people want to be invited to things, even if you know we will decline, because I want to feel like I am included. Disability is lonely sometimes, and it’s hard to accept the reality that sometimes you are going to be forgotten about and not included. Non-disabled people do not always intentionally not exclude disabled people, but sometimes they do, and I hate that the feeling of loneliness is part of being disabled.
Finding a job that is willing to accommodate- Finding a job is more difficult for disabled people than it is for non-disabled people because the unemployment rate amongst disabled people is higher. I looked for a job for several years and was discriminated against in several job interviews, so eventually I gave up and started my blog. I get some money from the government because of my disability, but it’s not enough to survive off of, and I wish that employers could see past a disability, and it wasn’t so hard to find employment. It is frustrating that my disability makes it so difficult to find employment because disabled people need to pay bills like non-disabled people and should be given a fair shot, but often employers aren’t willing to accommodate and will choose the non-disabled applicant even if the disabled person is more qualified. It is hard to accept the reality that it doesn’t matter how qualified you are; if you are disabled, you will be judged.
Fighting with insurance companies to get necessary medical supplies- Non-disabled people sometimes have to fight with insurance companies to get bills paid, but people who are in good health do not have to do it as much as disabled people. I know nothing about insurance, and my mom usually handles that for me, and I can’t tell you how many times I have heard her fighting with insurance companies for hours a day for several weeks to get me the necessary supplies insurance doesn’t think I need, but my doctor does. It is expensive to be disabled because insurance does not cover everything, and it doesn’t make it easier when we have to fight to get lifesaving equipment.
People staring because they are curious- When you are disabled, sometimes people will be curious, and instead of going up and asking you questions, they will just stare. As a disabled person, I know why people stare and am no longer bothered by it, but that doesn’t make it okay. It’s hard to get past the stares because it makes disabled people uncomfortable, but it’s a reality of being disabled, and there is nothing you can do to get people to stop doing it. You are not entitled to know everything about my disability, but I would rather you come up and ask me something than make things super awkward by staring
When you are disabled, life is hard and frustrating sometimes, but the hardest part of my disability isn’t the lack of cures, but it’s how society treats disabled people. I have been disabled for my entire life, and although I struggle every day, it’s not the worst part of my disability, and it’s how society treats disabled people. If disabled people weren’t constantly discriminated against because of a disability they cannot control, and accessibility was not an afterthought, it would be so hard to be disabled. I wish people could get past my disability and see me as an individual because it would eliminate feelings of loneliness, but that will never be my reality. There are so many things about a disability that are difficult and but some of the hardest things about a disability aren’t the physical challenges themselves, and it’s being laughed at because we are different. What are the hardest parts of your disability? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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