If you know someone who is sick in the hospital because of an illness or are recovering from surgery, you may want to support them in the best way to help eliminate feelings of loneliness and isolation. Surgery recoveries and illnesses can sometimes feel long and make someone depressed because you can’t do anything except sit in bed while your body heals. A good support system is so important for someone who is not well because it can make the recovery time not feel as long as it is. No one likes to see their loved one in pain, but hospital stays are something that a lot of disabled people are too familiar with. People will do everything they can to be supportive of their sick loved ones, but sometimes people unknowingly do things that they think are helpful but aren’t. I am not sick in the hospital or expecting to have any kind of surgery any time soon, but throughout my lifetime, I have had more hospital visits than most people ever will, and I know what is helpful in recovery and what isn’t. How can you be supportive of your sick loved one in the hospital? In this post, I am sharing a few things I would do if someone were sick in the hospital, recovering from an illness, or recovering from surgery to support them.
Don’t show up unannounced- People often assume that everyone admitted to the hospital wants visitors because hospital stays are boring. Some people want visitors the moment they are in recovery while others want to rest with no visitors. If you know someone who is sick in the hospital, it is common courtesy to call before you show up to their hospital room because some people may not be ready for visitors and will not want you there. You never know if your sick loved one is taking a nice long nap or is having testing done that their doctor ordered and you would be in the way. It takes a few seconds to call or send someone a text and ask if you can come by for a visit. You should never show up to someone’s hospital room unannounced because sometimes people aren’t up to visit. If I am sick in the hospital, I won’t usually kick people out who show up uninvited, but I will be annoyed that you don’t respect boundaries.
Offer to sit with them- When I am in the hospital, I have moments where I am alone but I am not alone the whole time because my mom usually stays with me throughout my entire stay. Some people don’t have someone to sit with them the whole time because sometimes people have to work or may have other people in the family that they have to care for. There is nothing worse than being alone in the hospital because nothing good is ever on TV and you can’t get up to do anything. If you have time, sacrifice your afternoon to come sit and play some games with your sick loved one. People don’t always need you to go to the store and buy them a bunch of cookies because sometimes you want company more than physical items. I always appreciate it when people take time out of their day to come to sit with me because when I am alone for too long sometimes it triggers feelings of depression.
Bring them their favorite snack- If you have ever had to spend the night at the hospital, you would know that the food you get in the hospital is disgusting most of the time. I have gone to some hospitals where the food was alright, but most times, I just have to choke it down to keep my doctor happy. I love it when people offer to stop at Chick-fil-A and bring something that is not hospital food because you can only handle food that tastes like cardboard for so long. You should always ask before you pick up dinner for someone because they may have dietary restrictions or have been given orders from their doctor to not eat. If they don’t have food restrictions, I am sure that they will take anything that is not hospital food.
Offer to make a healthy meal– When I am recovering from a surgery, people in my church usually will make meals for my family for about two weeks. It can sometimes be hard to make a meal when you are not well, and it is so helpful when someone offers to make you dinner because that is one less thing that you have to think about. If I am in bed recovering from a surgery, most times I am completely dependent on someone else, and not only are you helping me out by making a meal, but you are also helping the person caring for me. Offer to make a healthy meal because when you are in pain, sometimes it can be difficult to do for yourself. Make sure you ask if they have any food restrictions because the last thing you need is someone bringing you food you can’t eat.
Stay home if you are sick– If you are ill in the hospital, there is nothing worse than when someone in your family shows up with the flu because the last thing you need when you are already sick is another else. You should never come visit someone who is sick in the hospital if you are not well because you could make them sick. People who are sick in the hospital often have compromised immune systems and don’t need or want your germs. Stay home if you are sick, even if it’s mild, and you think there is no way I could catch it, because there is nothing worse than getting an illness that was preventable. My biggest pet peeve is when I am sick in the hospital and people show up sick, because if my immune system is compromised, you could give me something that is far worse than what you had. Please be considerate of your sick loved ones and don’t show up if you aren’t feeling well, because they will not appreciate it. I understand you want to see your sick loved ones but visiting them when you are sick is not the time to do it.
Don’t say good vibes only- People in the hospital are not going to be happy, and sometimes will say things that are negative, and that is okay because you should expect that. Let them get their negative emotion and don’t force toxic positivity down their throats by telling them good vibes only. It is very dismissive of the pain that someone is experiencing and can make someone feel shame if their feelings are negative, and is not helpful. You can try to make them laugh and lift their spirits, but just know that feeling of negativity is completely normal when you are in pain and valid.
Don’t bring food around someone who can’t eat- When you are in the hospital and have been given strict orders from your doctor not to eat, there is nothing worse than when the person visiting you decides they are going to eat lunch in front of you. In my opinion, this is cruel because there is no reason why you can’t walk down to the cafeteria to eat a meal.
If you have a loved one that is sick in the hospital, it is so important that you make sure that person know they aren’t alone because sometimes it can feel that way but at the same time it’s equally as important to respect boundaries. Don’t show up sick or at all if someone doesn’t want visitors because recoveries can be very stressful and you aren’t helping when you don’t listen to the person who is not well. It is hard to watch your loved one in the hospital fight an illness because you wish there was something you could do to make them better. Never underestimate the power of sitting with someone because sometimes people don’t need you to cure them and just don’t want to be alone. These are only some ways you can support someone recovering from an illness and there are so many ways, and it will be different for each individual. Everyone has different preferences, and the most important thing is that you respect boundaries and don’t take things personally if someone doesn’t want you there. How would you support someone who is sick in the hospital or recovering from surgery?
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