If you are disabled, you have likely had a non-disabled person assume you can’t do something yourself and go ahead and do it for you without asking. As a physically disabled person, I need more help than a non-disabled person because there are some tasks that I am not able to do myself, and I am not against people helping me if I need it. I don’t like it when people go ahead and do something for me that I already said that I am very capable of doing myself and don’t need assistance with. People sometimes think that they are helping when they do a task for a disabled person without asking, but you aren’t being as helpful as you think when you don’t listen to disabled people and do things for us even after we have told you not to. I love it when people help me with tasks that I am struggling with, but I do get a little annoyed when people assume that I need it without asking. Why don’t I like it when people do things for me without asking? In this post, I am going to share a few reasons why I don’t like people doing tasks for me that I don’t need help with.
It takes away some of my independence- Non-disabled people sometimes think that they are helping when they do tasks for a disabled person without asking but you are only helping if I have told you I need your assistance. There is nothing that frustrates me more than when people assume I can’t do a task and do it for me. As a physically disabled person, I am limited on what I can do independently because there are some tasks I am not able to do myself, and when you do a task for me that I can do myself, you are taking away the little independence I do have. Non-disabled people sometimes do not understand why disabled people don’t want help all the time, and the reason is that we want to be as independent as we possibly can. When you don’t let us do tasks ourselves, you are taking away our independence, and that does not make me feel good as a disabled person. Disabled people want to be as independent as possible, and you aren’t letting us be independent when you assume I always need help.
It increases my risk of falling- If I am getting a cup of water and you come up and take that cup from me without asking because you think I can’t do it myself, you could cause me to fall. I have to temporarily let go of my crutch when I do some tasks, and if you take things from me when I am not prepared, I could lose my balance and have a fall that was avoidable. As a physically disabled person, I am at a higher fall risk than a non-disabled person, and when you try to do tasks for me that I am currently already doing, you increase that risk. If I am doing a task, you can always ask me if I need assistance, but you should never go ahead and do things for me without asking, because I may not need your help. I struggle with a lot of tasks because of my physical disability, but even though something is hard, that doesn’t mean I am incapable of doing that task.
I will never learn how to do tasks- Non-disabled people always want to help me when they see me struggling with a task, because it is often assumed that I can’t do it. I struggle to do a lot of tasks and always will because of my physical disability, but even though something is hard, that doesn’t mean I am incapable of doing that task. I can’t do anything without struggle, and if people are always doing things for me, I will never learn how to do them myself. I am constantly adapting my life and finding ways to make my life easier because when you have a physical disability, sometimes you have to do things in a slightly different way. It can sometimes be hard for non-disabled people to let me struggle, but sometimes you have to let me struggle because that is how I learn to do things myself. If I let people do things for me all the time, I’d never be independent and have a reason to learn how to do things myself. Sometimes I fall when doing tasks, but it’s through these experiences that I learn what works for me and what doesn’t.
Non-disabled people sometimes think disabled people always need help, but the reality is we can do more for ourselves than people think we can. When you live with a disability, you are constantly learning new ways to make your life easier and are more capable than people think we are. I may move and think differently from non-disabled people, but disabled people are not helpless human beings and don’t need help all the time. I feel so proud of myself when I figure out a way to do a difficult task, and when you try to do it for me that I didn’t need help with, you are taking away that feeling of accomplishment, which doesn’t make me feel great as a disabled person. Please ask disabled people if they need help before doing a task for them, and if we say no, respect our wishes and walk away. I can’t do a lot of tasks without assistance, and I want to be able to do the ones that my disability doesn’t prevent me from doing. Helping a disabled person when they have asked you not to is not helpful and can be dangerous. Why do you not like people doing things for you who didn’t ask if you needed it? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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