When you are disabled or chronically ill, people sometimes think that you hate your life because the media tends to portray disability as something bad that we need to get rid of. As a disabled person, I have had people ask me, “How do you stay positive given that you have a disability?” because people often assume that all disabled people are miserable, which is so ableist. I try to highlight the positives of my disability on my blog, but the negatives do exist, and it’s important that we talk about them because if you only share what’s good about your life, people will have a false idea of what it’s like to be disabled. I may move and do things in a slightly different way than non-disabled people, but the belief that you can’t be happy while living with a disability is simply not true, and many people are. It is more difficult to be positive when you are disabled because we live in a world that is designed for non-disabled people, but it is possible. How do I stay positive while living with a disability? In this post, I am sharing how I stay positive while living with a disability.
I focus on the positives of my disability- When you are disabled, it is easy to focus on the negatives of living with a disability because there are more negatives than positives. If I focused on all the surgeries I have needed because of my disability, I would become very depressed because they are things that have happened, but they are not highlights of my disability. There are things about my disability that I wish would go away, and I could choose to be angry and bitter about them, but I have decided not to. You can’t change your disability, but you can change how you react to it, and I think that it’s much easier to cope with challenges when everything in life isn’t one big negative. You don’t have to be positive all the time or turn every negative into a positive because sometimes bad things happen, and there are no positives. Sometimes I get frustrated with my disability, and that is okay, but I do try to focus on the positives of my disability. I have had a lot of things happen that aren’t great, but I have also had a lot of positive moments, and I would not have gone to Hawaii without my disability. I don’t ignore the negatives of my disability, but I try to focus on the positives because it will be easier to cope that way.
It feels like I had no choice– When you have a disability, there are two ways to react to your disability: you can either be miserable or choose to embrace it and be happy. Disability is not a choice, and no one asked me if I wanted to be disabled; it was something that happened, and there was nothing I could have done to change it. My disability was not in my control because I was disabled before I was even born, and coping with my disability is not a choice I was given. I can’t change my disability, and it feels like I had no choice but to learn how to be positive because I am never going to be happy as a disabled person if I only focus on the frustrating parts of my disability.
I mostly hang around positive people- When you are disabled, it is so important to find people who support your disability because the people you hang out with can affect how you feel about yourself. As a disabled person, I try not to hang out with negative people unless they are family, and I can’t avoid them, but when it comes to picking my friends, I try to find people who are going to accept my disability instead of judging the way I do tasks. It can be hard to be positive while living with a disability, and it is so much easier to cope with your disability when you are hanging around the right kind of people. Find your tribe, whether that is in person or online, because when you feel like people are validating your pain, it’s easier to see the positives of your disability. Sometimes, the people you are hanging with are the problem and are the reason you tend to focus on only the negatives. You may not always be able to hang out with positive people, but you try to do it most of the time.
I don’t view my disability as one big negative- Non-disabled people often think that disabled people are miserable because they lack understanding. There are a lot of negatives to being disabled, and we can’t ignore them, but being disabled is not one big negative. There are many things about my disability that are really hard, but I choose not to view my disability as one big negative. My disability has challenges, but I don’t view my disability as one big negative, and I have met a lot of great people and gotten opportunities because of my disability.
I focus on what I can control- When you are disabled, it is easy to focus on all the things that your disability prevents you from being able to do. I think that sometimes disabled people struggle with being positive because they are focusing on the things that their disability takes from them that are not within their complete control. If you want to be a more positive person, it is so important that you learn to let go of the things you cannot control because you will never be happy if you are making lists of all the things you can’t do. I can’t change the fact that my physical disability prevents me from being able to mop the floor by myself, and I have to hire someone to do it for me. It is okay to grieve the life you had before pain, but there comes a point when you have to learn to let things go because wishing you had your old life back is not going to change anything. I struggled to be positive for a long time because I was always getting frustrated over things that were out of my control, and as soon as I learned to let go of that, I naturally became a more positive person. Focus on what you can control, not what you can’t
I never think about cures- Disabled people sometimes think about how much better life would be if they were cured, sometimes a little too much. There is nothing wrong with wanting a cure for your disability because life would be easier if your disability were removed, but there comes a point when it can be harmful. I sometimes wonder what life would be like without my disability, but very rarely do I think about cures because it’s never going to be my reality, and the only time I may talk about it is if someone brings it up. I am a much happier person when I focus on what life is like now rather than sitting around thinking about what I wish it would be. People often get depressed when they think about cures all the time, and I choose not to think about it, until it becomes my reality, which it probably never will.
When you are disabled, it is more difficult to be positive because life is physically harder for disabled people than it is for non-disabled people, but you should try. You can’t cure a disability by being more positive, like some non-disabled people believe, but you can make it easier to cope when you don’t focus on only the negatives. Disabled and chronically ill people are more likely to become depressed, and I think that sometimes people get depressed because they only focus on the challenges and forget about all the good things in life. There is a lot of good that comes with a disability, and I am the person I am today because of my disability. I would be a completely different person without my disability, and because of my disability, I am able to advocate for disabled people, and I am grateful that I can help people in ways non-disabled people can’t. How do you stay positive while living with a disability? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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