When you live with chronic pain, everything you do revolves around your pain levels because you can’t do anything without thinking about it. Chronic pain is a full-time job and shows up when we don’t want it to because it doesn’t care if it’s a holiday or your birthday. It is fun to celebrate your birthday, but when you live with chronic pain, it can be very hard because you can be doing everything right to prevent increased pain levels, and it still shows up and ruins your birthday. I have lived most of my life without chronic pain, but since living with chronic pain, birthdays are not the same. My birthday is on Sunday, and I will likely have fun celebrating my birthday, but birthdays are not the same when you live with pain because a lot of the time you don’t have the energy to have a big celebration and may not be in the mood to celebrate at all. Birthdays can be very hard for people in pain because it takes a lot of planning to have a low-pain birthday, and even if you take every precaution, you can’t completely prevent your pain from flaring. Why are birthdays hard for people who live with chronic pain? In this post, I am sharing why celebrating your birthday can be hard for people in pain.
It can be a painful reminder of things pain has taken from you– Some people with chronic pain have been in pain for most of their lives and don’t remember ever having a day without pain, but not everyone with chronic pain has lived with it their whole lives. I have lived most of my life without chronic pain and started experiencing it in my mid-twenties, and now I am in my mid-thirties, so I know what it’s like to not live in pain. Birthdays are supposed to be nothing but happiness, but they can be hard for people with chronic pain because it can be a painful reminder of all the things that pain has taken from you. Some people with chronic pain have not lived with it for very long and remember what it’s like to have energy all the time, and you miss those days. It can be very hard for me to get in a celebratory mood on my birthday because chronic pain is a reminder of all the things I used to be able to do without pain that no longer bring you joy.
You never know how you are going to feel– My pain levels can change on a daily basis, and I can feel great today but in crippling pain tomorrow, unable to get out of bed. One of the hardest realities of living with chronic pain is that you never know how you are going to feel. Everyone wants to celebrate your birthday with you, but if you wake up in crippling pain, the only thing you are going to want to do is sit in bed bingeing your favorite TV shows. Pain doesn’t take a vacation just because it’s your birthday, and I can’t tell you how many birthdays I have had to fake being well to spare the feelings of others. Most people aren’t going to understand how much pain controls your life because you don’t look like you are in pain and will expect you to celebrate as if your pain didn’t exist. If you were to ask me today what I wanted to do for my birthday, I could give you some idea of what I want to do, but I don’t actually know until the day of because pain sometimes causes you to change your plans.
Did I do enough to prevent more pain?– When you live with chronic pain, you are constantly thinking about your pain because if you don’t make the right kinds of choices, it can flare your pain. Birthdays can cause a lot of stress and anxiety for people with chronic pain because you are eating food you wouldn’t normally have and doing activities you wouldn’t normally do. People with chronic pain can’t celebrate their birthday in the same way people without pain can because every activity has to revolve around your pain levels. A large amount of stress can trigger more pain, but it can be hard not to be stressed about your pain levels. I start preparing my body a week or two before my birthday with hopes of avoiding a flare when the day actually comes but sometimes it’s still not enough. You are not in complete control of your pain because you can be doing everything right and still have elevated pain levels on your birthday. I do everything I can to prevent high levels of pain on my birthday, but I still always worry because pain can change on a daily basis.
Sometimes I don’t feel very celebratory- Birthdays are something to celebrate, but when you live with pain, sometimes it doesn’t feel like there is anything worth celebrating. You are hurting all the time with no energy, trying to manage symptoms, and sometimes people with chronic pain can struggle with depression when you are expected to be happy.
When you live with chronic pain, you can have fun celebrating, but the way you celebrate your birthday may look different than it would for someone without chronic pain. Low-pain birthdays take a lot of planning because you can’t ignore your pain and have to think about the smallest detail when planning activities for your birthday. Little things such as enjoying a piece of cake can flare symptoms and leave you bed-bound for days. People with chronic pain can’t celebrate their birthday and actually enjoy it in the same way people without chronic pain can because if you make the wrong choice, it can ruin your birthday. People with chronic pain can’t go to a bar and have a few drinks like someone without pain can and only worry about a hangover. Birthdays hit different when you live with chronic pain because sometimes your energy is low and you aren’t in the mood to celebrate. I do my best to prevent elevated pain levels on my birthday, but at the end of the day, there is only so much you can do. How do you celebrate your birthday while living with chronic pain? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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