How To Help A Friend Struggling From Depression

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Disclaimer: In this post, I am sharing how I help my friends who are struggling with depression. I am not a mental health professional, and everything shared is to be used for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice.

Mental illness is often invisible because not everyone who is struggling with depression cries endlessly, and that is only true for some people. When your friend is struggling with depression, it can be hard for them to cope with and for you to watch them struggling because you can’t fix someone’s mental illness. As a disabled person, I have had moments where I get sad because we all do, but my mental health has never gotten so bad that I needed a therapist. However, I do have some friends who struggle with mental illness. Some disabled people get depressed because it is hard to be disabled in a world designed for non-disabled people, but not all disabled people get severely depressed and need a therapist, because you can be happy while being disabled. If you are friends are struggling with depression, it can be hard to see them unhappy, and I wish there was something I could do to take away their pain, but you can’t cure someone’s mental illness, and all you can do is be supportive of your friends. I have always had friends who have struggled with mental illness because all of my friends are disabled, and depression is not uncommon. How do you support your friend struggling with depression? In this post, I am going to talk about how I support my friend struggling with mental illness.

Be their friend, not their therapist- If your friend is struggling with depression, the absolute worst thing you can do is to act like you are their therapist. You are not their therapist, and it can be very harmful to try to play therapist because if your friend is severely struggling with their mental health, it is likely they have a real licensed therapist and don’t need a second therapy session. Be their friend, not their therapist, because your friend needs you to be their friend and will probably not feel comfortable opening up about their mental health struggles to you like they would their therapist. You will put a strain on the relationship you have with your friend if you act like you are their therapist, because most people will see that as crossing boundaries and a little annoying. Friends struggling with mental illness need to know that you will always be there for them, and you are not going to give them the support they need by acting like their therapist. Please save the therapy sessions for the real professionals and just be a supportive friend! It can be dangerous to give mental health advice to someone struggling with their mental health if you aren’t a licensed therapist, because you don’t know what you are doing and could unknowingly be giving bad advice.

Build trust in your friendship- If your friend opens up to you about their mental health struggles, it is so important that you respect boundaries and keep it private. It takes a lot of courage for someone to open up about their mental health struggles, especially with someone they know, and if you share that information with everyone you know, your friend may feel violated and not trust you. My friends have told me a lot about their mental health struggles, and I wish there was something I could do to take their pain away, but never will you see me share that information with people in my family who don’t need to know because I wouldn’t want someone doing that to me. The only time I think it would be appropriate to tell someone else about your friend’s depression is if they asked you or were saying something super concerning, such as talking about committing suicide, and needed professional help, but otherwise, you shouldn’t share private mental health information someone shared with you in confidence.

Remind them they are not alone– There is a lot of stigma when it comes to mental illness, and a lot of people think it’s just sadness, and all you have to do is meditate. People struggling with depression sometimes feel alone because people make them feel shame for their mental illness, and it’s so important that, as a friend, you constantly remind them that they are not alone. If you don’t currently struggle with mental illness, you will never fully understand what they are going through because you will never understand a disability you have never experienced and that is okay. You don’t have to fully understand what someone is going through to be supportive of them because sometimes all someone needs to know is that they are not alone. People with depression sometimes feel alone, and it’s so important that as a friend, you make sure they don’t feel that way because when people think they are alone, it worsens depression and makes people feel like there is no point in life.

Encourage your friend to get a therapist if they don’t have one- People sometimes will struggle with depression silently because sometimes you may have people in your life who don’t believe mental illness is real. You never know who in your friend or family circle is struggling with depression because some people hide it very well, and even though someone swears, they aren’t struggling with their mental health, that doesn’t mean they aren’t. People sometimes are hesitant to get therapy because they may have people in their life who think mental illness is something you can snap out of and don’t believe in therapy. If your friend is struggling with depression and you have done everything within your power to help them, it might be a good idea to encourage them to consider a therapist, because people will be more inclined to consider therapy if people around them are supportive of it. There is no shame in therapy, and it’s so important that you let your friends know that because people generally won’t get therapy if they feel like their friends are going to look down on them. It can be hard to have that conversation, but it’s so important that your friends get the support they need because you won’t make improvements in your mental health if you don’t take action to get better.

Call your friend on a bad mental health day– If my friends were to post something online about their mental health that was worrisome to me, I wouldn’t ignore it but would call or text them to make sure they are okay. Most of the time, people are probably going to be okay and will likely just be ranting, but you should never just assume that, because sometimes people aren’t okay. Calling your friend or sending them flowers on a bad mental health day can make someone feel loved and make the really dark days a little better!

When your friends are struggling with depression, it can be hard for both of you, but you will not be able to fix someone’s mental illness. As a friend, it is so important that you are supportive and don’t try to force prayer on them or act like you are their therapist because you are not. As a disabled Christian, I believe in the power of prayer and will pray for my friends who are struggling privately, but never will you see me force prayer on them because not everyone believes in prayer. Some people will roll their eyes at you when you force them to pray, and you will not be helping them as much as you think you are, but it could put a strain on your relationship. If your friend is struggling with depression, be there for them and be mindful of how you talk about mental illness around everyone, because you never know who in your life is struggling with their mental health. Some people are obviously depressed, while others hide it well, and you will not know because sometimes people are embarrassed to admit it. You don’t have to be someone’s therapist to help them because you can help by simply listening to them and asking what they need. How do you help your friends struggling with mental illness? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.

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