When you become a parent, one of the first things parents have to think about is what lessons they are going to teach their children. Good parents often will teach their kids good values but not all parents educate their children about disability because sometimes you don’t have disabled children and think you don’t have to. As a disabled person, I think that parents should be educating their kids on disability whether they are disabled or not because not educating your kids is what turns them into ableist adults. Disabled people are often discriminated against by non-disabled people, and I think that could change if parents took the time to have these hard conversations. Children are a blessing, but I will never personally have them not because I couldn’t but because the challenges of my disability make me not want them. If I did change my mind and decided to have children one day I would have no choice but to educate my kids on my disability because they are going to ask whether I bring it up or not. What disability lessons would I teach my children? In this post, I am going to talk about a few disability lessons every parent should be teaching their children.
Disabled people are different– It is not surprising that disabled people face more discrimination than non-disabled people because in today’s society, the abilities of non-disabled people are often seen as superior, and disability is to be believed as something bad that needs to be fixed. I can’t stress enough how important it is for parents to teach their kids that disabled people are different but that is okay because everyone is different in their own unique way and that is not necessarily a bad thing. I may do tasks and move in a slightly different but there is nothing wrong with that. Parents should be teaching their children that disabled people are not retarded, and even though you may hear another kid at school say it, that doesn’t make it okay. I would teach my kids to go up to disabled people who look different and say hello because not enough people do that, and a lot of the time, disabled people are isolated with no friends.
Disabled is not a bad word- Non-disabled people often will avoid using the word disabled and will say “you aren’t disabled but differently abled.” There are a lot of different terms you can use when referring to a disability, and not all disabled people will prefer the same language, and that’s okay because the language you use should be up to the individual. I can’t stress enough how important it is for parents to teach their children that the word disabled is often frowned upon amongst non-disabled people, but there is nothing wrong with that term. Some disabled people may choose to use terms like handicapped or differently-abled, but a lot of people prefer to call themselves disabled. If someone is telling you that they prefer the term disabled, you should honor that and use that term and not substitute it for something else that makes you more comfortable. I prefer to be called disabled, and it’s not offensive because I do have a physical disability, and you are only stating a fact. Please don’t tiptoe around the word disabled because a lot of people want you to use that term, and we need to stop trying to avoid it.
Never pick up someone’s assistive devices without permission– Kids always have a fascination with my crutches and love to play with them, and I will let kids I know personally play with my crutches if they ask me. If I know your child personally, I will let them play with my crutches, but I try to teach my nieces to ask before they pick up my assistive devices, because you never want your child to think that assistive devices are toys. One of the most important lessons you can teach your child is that assistive devices are not toys to be played with and are someone’s mobility aid. You should always ask before picking them up and always put them where I can reach them if I let you play with them, because I can’t move if my crutches are on the other side of the room. Please teach your kids not to pick up someone’s mobility aid without asking, because it’s a part of me, and you are taking away my independence when you take away my mobility aid.
I use a wheelchair user but am not bound to it- There are a lot of different ways a disabled person can choose to identify themselves, and there is no right or wrong way because everyone has different preferences. The one thing that a lot of disabled people can agree on is the harm in using terms such as wheelchair-bound or confined to a wheelchair. When I hear the term wheelchair-bound or confined to a wheelchair, it sounds so negative to me, and I think of chains. I am not wheelchair-bound, nor am I confined to a wheelchair, but I am a wheelchair user because I use a wheelchair, but I am not confined to it. Parents need to teach their kids that a wheelchair is freedom and it’s not something we are bound to.
Disability in the media is often incorrect- The media plays a major role in disability stigma because a lot of TV shows portray disabled people as depressed and desperate for a cure. It is more important now than ever that parents teach their children that disability in the media is often exaggerated or completely wrong to begin with, because disabled parts are played by non-disabled people. Do not get your information about disability from shows you watch because most of the time, TV shows with disabled characters are played by non-disabled people and are not authentic representation of what it’s like to be disabled. TV shows are a great way to keep you entertained, but you should take the information in these shows with a grain of salt.
Not all disabled people are inspirational- Non-disabled people sometimes think disabled people are helpless and will tell us we are an inspiration for doing basic tasks. I know that most people mean well when they call me an inspiration and think they are giving me a compliment, but calling a disabled person inspirational for doing the dishes is not the compliment you think it is. Some disabled people are inspirations, but existing as a disabled person doesn’t make you an inspiration, and some people may be insulted when you call them an inspiration for doing basic tasks. I sometimes do things in a slightly different way to accommodate my disability but that doesn’t make me an inspiration, and actions do.
Anyone can be become disabled- Non-disabled people sometimes think they don’t have to care about disabled people because they aren’t disabled themselves. You will never have Spina Bifida unless you were born with it, but anyone can become disabled, and all it takes is a horrific accident, age, or illness to become disabled. Everyone should care about the disability community, and we should be teaching our kids that even though you aren’t currently disabled, that doesn’t mean it will never happen.
Non-disabled parents who don’t teach their kids about disability are becoming part of the problem because when kids aren’t educated, they are going to be ableist without even realizing it. Disabled people face a lot of discrimination by non-disabled people, and I think a lot of it has to do with parents not teaching their kids about disability and wanting to pretend it doesn’t exist. It is hard to tell your child that they are never going to get better, but the longer you try to avoid talking about disability with your kids, the harder it’s going to be. If you teach your kids about disability at a young age, it becomes less scary and normalizes disability. As a disabled person, I think it would be easier for me to teach my kids about disability than it would be for a non-disabled person, but you don’t have to be disabled to give your kids disability education. Most non-disabled people don’t know what ableism is, but mine would because I wouldn’t want my child growing up thinking my disability is the problem and I need to be fixed. What disability lessons are you teaching your children? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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My Rockin Disabled Life 
Excellent reminders … 💕
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