Why Disabled People Need Disabled Friends

Non-disabled people can be great friends to disabled people, but every disabled person needs at least one disabled friend. In the past, I have been friends with non-disabled people, but I have not had the best luck, and every non-disabled person I have tried to be friends with has lacked understanding, and all they want to do is fix me. Some disabled people have good friends with non-disabled people, but I have not had good experiences, and my most long-lasting friendships have been with other disabled people. My disabled friends do not have the same disability as me, but that is okay because you don’t need to relate to someone’s disability to be a good friend. Every disabled person needs a disabled friend that they can have conversations with that you can’t have with a non-disabled person, because they aren’t disabled and will not understand your point of view. My friends are all disabled, but it’s not because I don’t want to be friends with non-disabled people, and I just haven’t had good experiences, but I would be open to it if I met a non-disabled person I clicked with. Why do disabled people need disabled friends? In this post, I am sharing a few reasons why I think disabled people need disabled friends.

It makes you feel less alone– When you are disabled and most people in your life do not have a disability, sometimes you feel alone because you don’t have someone that you can talk about disability-related issues with. Non-disabled people don’t understand disability to the extent a disabled person does, and often will give unhelpful advice without trying to or will say something ableist. If you have disabled friends, you won’t feel as alone because you will have someone to talk to about your disability challenges who actually gets that won’t tell you to stop whining. I talk about ableism with my friends regularly, and I am not able to do that with non-disabled people. Friendships with other disabled people make you feel less alone, and you don’t have the same disability as your friends because all disabled people can relate to inaccessibility and ableism. My disabled friends make me feel less alone, and I don’t know what I would do if I had no one to talk to about disability-related issues that truly understood.

It helps you feel seen– Non-disabled people sometimes will roll their eyes at disabled people when they ask for help and will make us feel like we are a burden to them. Most disabled people have felt like they were a burden at some point in their lives, but you are not going to feel that way when you are friends with another disabled person. Disabled people know that feeling like a burden is not a great feeling and aren’t going to treat their friends that way. Your disability will feel seen when you are friends with a disabled person because they will be more understanding. Disabled friends will not judge you for having to cancel plans because of pain and will understand that pain often is not convenient. Friendships with non-disabled people sometimes go south because they don’t understand and think you can cure yourself. I feel seen when I am with my disabled friends, but I don’t always feel that way when I am with non-disabled people because sometimes people forget I’m disabled.

You worry less about inaccessibility- When I hang out with my disabled friends, I never have to stress about being forced to do an activity that is not accessible because my friends always check the accessibility before booking an activity. Non-disabled people sometimes forget to check the accessibility, and I am forced to do inaccessible activities all the time, and it’s not as fun. I am less stressed when I hang out with my disabled friends because I know that whatever activity we are doing is going to be accessible, which creates a more positive experience. Non-disabled people often do not realize how stressful inaccessibility is for disabled people, and being with someone who gets it is one of the greatest feelings.

Disabled people won’t try to fix you- Non-disabled people sometimes have a hard time understanding what the word incurable means and will try to fix you. In high school, I had a non-disabled friend who didn’t work out because she did nothing other than tell me how I could cure myself. Disabled people are more accepting of a disability because we know what the word incurable means and understand how awful it feels when people think you need to be fixed. We won’t give you unsolicited health advice that you didn’t ask for because we know that no disabled person likes that. Disabled people will accept you for who you are instead of making you feel like you aren’t good enough unless you are fixed.

We can help our friends accept their disability- Disability acceptance is hard because we live in a world surrounded by ableism that makes loving your disability seem impossible. Non-disabled people can help a disabled person get to a place of acceptance, but not to the extent that a disabled person can. Disabled people can help their friends get to a place of acceptance because we can relate to what they are going through and have gone through it ourselves. We won’t dismiss your feelings and tell you that you just need love, being disabled like a non-disabled person would, because we know that is not helpful. Disabled people can show their friends struggling with disability acceptance how to embrace their disability, and non-disabled people can’t always do that.

Non-disabled people sometimes don’t want to be friends with disabled people because they think we are so much different than them. Friendships with disabled people can create a special bond that you aren’t going to have with non-disabled people, and every disabled person needs at least one. Disabled people do not always make the best friends because even disabled people can sometimes be jerks, and I have had friendships with other disabled people that have not worked out. I have learned a lot from my disabled friends because we don’t have the same disability, and the things we struggle with are very different, but that is okay. People sometimes think that friendships with disabled people don’t last as long as those with non-disabled people, but that is not always true, and sometimes your friendships are stronger because of your disability. Why do you think that disabled people need disabled friends? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.

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