Some Of The Most Common Ableist Comments Disabled People Receive

Ableism negatively affects disabled people, but it’s everywhere and is impossible to escape it because anyone can be ableist, even disabled people. Most people are ableist, and a lot of the time, I think people don’t know what ableism is and don’t realize how ableist they are. What is ableism? It is a form of discrimination and social prejudice toward disabled people, with the belief that disabled people need to be fixed and that the abilities of non-disabled people are superior. Non-disabled people sometimes will say something with good intentions, thinking they are giving disabled people compliments, without realizing how ableist that comment was and the harm it’s causing disabled people. As a disabled person, I am always hearing new ableist comments, but I do get a lot of the same types of comments on repeat. What are some of the most common ableist comments? In this post, I am sharing a few of the most common ableist comments that I hear very frequently.

You are such an inspiration– Non-disabled people often will tell a disabled person that they are inspiring for no reason, because it is often believed that being disabled automatically makes you an inspiration. Most people who call a disabled person an inspiration mean well and may think they are giving a disabled person a compliment, but it’s not the compliment you think it is. As a disabled person, I roll my eyes at people who call me an inspiration for doing nothing because it almost feels like people look down on me and think that I deserve praise when I do the smallest thing. I may move and think differently from non-disabled people, but my disability doesn’t automatically make me an inspiration, and actions do. Disabled people are just living their lives differently, but not all disabled people are inspirations, and we do not exist to inspire you. It is insulting to tell a disabled person that their existence is inspirational and is incredibly ableist.

Can I pray for you?- Non-disabled people often think that disabled people need to be fixed, and sometimes will approach us and tell us that we need to pray for the healing of our disabilities. As a disabled Christian, I have nothing against prayer and will let you pray for me if I am going through something hard, but I will walk away from anyone who insists I need to pray for healing of my disability. Disabled people do not need to be fixed, and the only thing that needs fixing is inaccessibility and ableism. I don’t like it when people tell me I need prayer because it implies that there is something wrong with me that needs fixing. Some disabled people do not want to pray and shouldn’t have to because people pity disabled people and think we need healing. Some disabled people do want to be fixed because, believe it or not, you can be happy while being disabled. Disabled people do not need to pray more often than non-disabled people, and assuming we do is ableist.

You are so lucky to be in relationship- When two non-disabled people are in a relationship, it’s called love, but when a non-disabled person dates a disabled person, it’s inspirational. Non-disabled people often will approach disabled people with non-disabled partners and tell us that we are so lucky to have our partner. These types of ableist comments are typically not said to the non-disabled person, but only said to the disabled partner. Disabled people make great partners, and they are as lucky to have us as we are to have them. Non-disabled people shouldn’t be praised for dating a disabled person, but often are. You are not a better person for dating disabled people and are just a decent human being. Non-disabled people often think that disabled people only date other disabled people, and when we are with someone who isn’t disabled, they assume that we couldn’t possibly be in love and that person must be our caregiver, which is also ableist.

You should be grateful for everything I do for you- Disabled people sometimes are hesitant to complain about anything within their own families because the moment we do, people tend to say something ableist. Caregivers of disabled people sometimes will tell disabled people that we should be grateful for everything they do for us when we complain about anything. As a disabled person, I am very grateful for all the help I receive because there are a lot of things that I wouldn’t be able to do without the support of loved ones. I can’t stand it when non-disabled people tell me that I should be grateful because it’s incredibly ableist. Disabled people do not have to be more grateful than non-disabled people, and I am feeling less grateful when you tell me I should be.

Disability is like being on vacation- When you are disabled or chronically ill and cannot work sometimes people will come up to you and say, “You are so lucky you don’t have to work and it’s like being on vacation. It is always shocking to me when people compare being disabled to being on vacation, because if being disabled was even close to going on vacation, everyone would be begging not to go on vacation. These types of comments are incredibly ableist because it implies that it’s easy to be disabled and is like going on vacation. Disabled and chronically ill people may not have to work but we are constantly fighting with insurances companies to get necessary medical supplies, spend a lot of the time at doctors appointment and deal with pain a non-disabled person would never have to experience.

Are you even disabled?- As a visibly disabled person, people don’t usually question my disability because I walk with crutches and look disabled, but not all disabilities are easy to see. Non-disabled people sometimes will approach an invisibly disabled person and say, “Are you even disabled?” Questioning someone’s disability and telling them they don’t look disabled is not a compliment and implies you don’t believe they are really disabled and think I am faker, which is ableist.

Have you tried? Disabled people are always getting unsolicited health advice because when people see a disabled person, they think they know how to cure them. I have nothing against people giving me suggestions on how to improve my pain because I don’t know everything, and sometimes people give me suggestions I have not tried. Most unsolicited health advice is ableist, and people say it because they think they know how to manage your disability or chronic illness better than you do. Non-disabled people sometimes mean well and may think they are helping, but I promise you, whatever remedy you think I haven’t tried, I most definitely have.

Is she able to do that?- When I go somewhere with a non-disabled person, a lot of the time people will not talk to me directly and ask questions to my caregiver that I am perfectly capable of answering because they assume I am unable to advocate for myself. Asking questions to my caregiver and not talking to me directly is frustrating and ableist because you probably don’t know my abilities as well as you think you do. People need to stop assuming disabled people are unable to speak for themselves because most of us can have conversations as easily as a non-disabled person can.

You are so pretty for being disabled- One of the most insulting and ableist comments that I get as a disabled person is “you are so pretty for being disabled.” Why can’t you just call me pretty, and why do you have to associate my attractiveness with my disability? Comments like these are so insulting because it implies that all disabled people are ugly.

Ableism is everywhere, and most people are ableist without even realizing it because they don’t take the time to educate themselves on ableism. These days, the Internet makes it so easy to educate yourself on anything, and most people are just not doing it. Many disabled people run blogs, YouTube channels, and have written books, and there is no excuse that you can’t expand your knowledge because there are so many resources. Educating yourself on ableism is so important to disabled people because the people who are the most ableist tend to be loved ones of disabled people who think that knowing a disabled person makes them an expert. I don’t expect people to be perfect and to never slip up and say something ableist, but if you don’t educate yourself, you will be more ableist. Ableism negatively affects disabled people, and if you want to support your disabled loved ones, you should try not to be ableist. What are some of the most ableist comments that you have received? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.

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