Disability Etiquette Everyone Should Know

Non-disabled people often do not know how to talk or treat disabled people, and sometimes think that they can’t talk to disabled people in the same way they would to a non-disabled person. Disability is often seen as something that needs to be cured, and sometimes non-disabled people say things to us with good intentions that can be considered rude or ableist because most people are not taught basic disability etiquette. Most non-disabled people do not interact with a disabled person on a regular basis, and often don’t respect disabled people because they see us as less capable than non-disabled people. Everyone should know basic disability etiquette, because you can better support your disabled loved ones when you know how to act around them. Most non-disabled people don’t know basic disability etiquette because they don’t have a disabled person in their life to teach them. What disability etiquette do you need to know? In this post, I am going to share disability etiquette that you should know if you want to support your disabled loved ones.

Don’t hang your bags on the back of my wheelchair– When I am shopping with a non-disabled person, sometimes people will hang their shopping bags on the back of my wheelchair. I know that non-disabled people are probably not thinking anything of it and are hanging their bags because they don’t want to carry them. You should never hang your bags on the back of someone’s wheelchair unless the disabled person has told you they don’t mind. My wheelchair is part of me, and you are violating my personal space when you hang your bags on the back of my wheelchair without permission. I personally don’t like it when people hang their bags on the back of my chair because often shopping bags get in the way and make it harder for me to push my wheelchair. My wheelchair is not your closet, and you shouldn’t hang stuff on the back of it unless you have asked me and I have said it’s okay.

Ask if I need help, but don’t assume I do- When you are disabled, often people think that you always need help because non-disabled people sometimes think disabled people are less capable than non-disabled people. As a disabled person with a physical disability, I often need more help than non-disabled people, but I don’t need help with everything, and there are some things my disability does not limit. You should always ask a disabled person if they need assistance and what you can do to help them. Disabled people do not always need help because our disabilities do not limit everything, and sometimes we may not want or need your help. You should always ask a disabled person if they need help instead of assuming we do, because we can probably do more than you think we can. It is so important to find out how you can help a disabled person instead of assuming we can’t do a task because forced help can be dangerous and lead to falls.

Do not pet a service dog- Service dogs are cute, and sometimes it can be tempting to want to pet the dog, but you should never pet a service dog unless the handler says you can. When you pet a service dog that is supposed to be working, it distracts the dog from the job they are supposed to be doing which is keeping the owner safe. You can put someone in a dangerous situation when you distract the dog from doing their job. Not all dogs wearing a service dog vest are true service dogs because fake service dogs do exist, but it’s not always obvious, and you should just get in the habit of not petting service dogs.

Don’t lean on my wheelchair– My wheelchair is my own personal space, and I can’t stand it when a non-disabled person leans on my wheelchair. Please do not lean or touch a disabled person’s assistive devices without asking them first because it’s their property, and you are violating someone’s personal space when you do that. Respect a disabled person’s assistive devices and don’t touch them unless we have given you permission to do so.

Talk to disabled people, not their caregivers– Non-disabled people often think that disabled people are unable to speak for themselves and sometimes will not talk to disabled people themselves, but to their caregivers. Please talk to disabled people themselves and not their caregivers because most disabled people can hold a conversation just as effectively as non-disabled people can. Talk to disabled people like you would to another person, because it is frustrating when people see your disability and assume you need someone to talk for you.

Don’t touch disabled people without permission- As a disabled person, I have had many non-disabled people stroke my hair without permission and pat me on the head like I am their dog. Can we normalize not doing that? There is nothing wrong with giving a disabled person a hug, but don’t start touching them for no reason because it’s crossing major personal boundaries. Most disabled people do not want to be touched by strangers, so please don’t touch us without permission, because it doesn’t matter how soft you think my hair is; unless I am at the hair salon, there is no reason you need to be touching it. You wouldn’t start touching a non-disabled person for no reason, so don’t do that to disabled people.

Non-disabled people sometimes do not respect disabled people because they see our disabilities as something that you should pity and needs to be fixed. Everyone can benefit from learning basic disability etiquette because not all disabilities are visible, and you probably have interacted with more disabled people than you think. It is so important that you learn how to talk to disabled people and don’t ask us questions you wouldn’t ask a non-disabled person. Talk to disabled people like you would if our disabilities were removed, because you are not entitled to a disabled person’s medical history. Disabled people are not always comfortable giving you a health update, and sometimes we want to talk about anything but our disabilities. Respect disabled people and talk to them in the same way you would to a non-disabled person because disabled people hate it when you treat us differently. Are you guilty of poor disability etiquette, and what would you add? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.

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