When you are disabled, it is often more difficult to make friends than it is for non-disabled people because disability makes it more difficult to make friends. Disabled people want to have a lot of friends and can bring a lot of value to a relationship, but it can be difficult to find someone who can see you as an individual and look past your disability. Non-disabled people often struggle to accept someone’s disability because they see it as something bad that needs to be fixed. Disabled people often have a harder time making friends than non-disabled people because you have to convince people that your disability is a diagnosis, but is not your entire identity. I have always struggled to make friends because when people see my disability, sometimes they believe disability stereotypes and want nothing to do with me. Friendships with disabled people look different because disability impacts relationships, but disabled people can be just as good a friend as non-disabled people. How does disability affect relationships? In this post, I am sharing how a disability or chronic illness can affect relationships you have with people
It sometimes causes them to fall apart- Disabled people want to have a lot of friends, but can’t make friends as easily as non-disabled people because sometimes people are ableist. One of the saddest realities of being disabled is that sometimes it negatively impacts relationships and causes them to fall apart because non-disabled people often lack understanding and see it as something that needs to be fixed. I’ve been friends with non-disabled people that didn’t work out because a vast majority of the conversations I had with them were about how I can cure myself. I did my best to try to get them to see past my disability, but some people are ableist and do not want to change. Everyone needs support from their friends during difficult times, and you aren’t going to get the support you need when your friends don’t see you as an individual but your disability. Disability lets you know who your true friends are because disability makes painfully obvious who is accepting of disabilities and who is not. People with chronic pain sometimes have even more of an issue making friends because your pain is not always visible to others, and sometimes people lack understanding and don’t think your pain is real.
It can bring you closer together- Disability can negatively affect relationships, but not all friendships are negatively impacted because it can bring you closer together. I have always struggled to make friends because of my disability, but the ones I do have are unbreakable. Friendships with disabled people look different because you need to have conversations with your friends that you wouldn’t have to if you weren’t disabled. I have had a lot of painful surgeries that have tested the relationships I have with people in ways most people couldn’t even begin to understand and shown me who my real friends are. Some of my most supportive friends respect boundaries and are always there to support me, even when I am struggling with pain or am going through a painful surgery. I have never had good experiences with being friends with a non-disabled person, and all my friends are disabled but do not have Spina Bifida. My friends cannot fully relate to my disability, just like I can’t relate to their disability, but we do have a special bond because they are more understanding of health challenges, and I can have conversations with them that I can’t have with a non-disabled person. My disability has brought me closer to my friends because I don’t see them as often, and I can’t do anything with my friends without thinking about my disability.
If affects what you can do with your friends- When you have physical disability, the things you can do with your friends are limited because not everything in life is accessible. All of my friends have physical disabilities, but we don’t all have the same limitations because our disabilities are very different from each other. I have a physical disability, but I can do a little bit more than my friends because I am not a full-time wheelchair user. Before I hang out with my friends, I have to be thinking about my friends’ limitations along with my own, because there are some activities that maybe I could do, but my friend couldn’t and is not an option for us. Disability affects the types of activities you are able to do with your friends because you always have to be thinking about the accessibility of the activity.
Ableism negatively impacts relationships– Most people are ableist, and I don’t get upset if my friends were to occasionally say something ableist because we all do. Ableism negatively affects disabled people, and I do my best to educate my friends on ableism, but sometimes people are too ableist and don’t want to change. Ableism can sometimes destroy friendships with disabled people, which is why it’s so important to educate yourself if you are friends with a disabled person.
It makes it harder to find friends- Disabled people want to have a lot of friends like non-disabled people, but it is harder to make friends when you have a disability because people tend to think that disabled people don’t bring a lot of value in relationships. People sometimes are ableist and struggle to see past your disability and want nothing to do with you. Disabled people can be as good of a friend as a non-disabled person, but sometimes people see our disabilities and will not give us a chance.
When you are disabled, sometimes it is difficult to make friends because we live in a world that is not accepting of disabilities. Disability can negatively impact a relationship, but if you find the right kind of people, it can also make your relationship stronger. I have never had good experiences being friends with a non-disabled person, but even though I have never had a good experience, that doesn’t mean no one does. Friendships with a disabled person look different, but both non-disabled and disabled people can be friends. There will be some things that disabled people can’t talk about with their non-disabled friends, which is why it’s so important for disabled people to have disabled friends. You don’t have to be able to relate to my disability to be a good friend, because we don’t always have to talk about my disability. How has your disability impacted your friendships? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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