What No One Tells You About Disability Acceptance

When you are disabled, one of the hardest things that a disabled person has to learn is to accept is the reality that they are never going to get better. Disability acceptance is hard because we live in a world surrounded by inaccessibility and ableism where disability something bad that needs to be fixed. Some disabled people have a hard time accepting their differences than others and may never get to a place where they are happy being disabled, but it’s something we all go through. Non-disabled people make disability acceptance sound easy and often will tell disabled people that we need to embrace our disabilities and love ourselves. It can be helpful for a disabled person to learn to embrace their disability, but it’s not as easy as people make it sound and takes time because even disabled people who have been disabled there whole lives sometimes struggle with disability acceptance. Non-disabled people do not understand what it’s like to be disabled and often get a lot of things wrong about disability acceptance. What do people not tell you about disability acceptance? In this post, I am sharing what no one tells you about disability acceptance that you need to know.

It is not something that happens overnight- Non-disabled people are very quick to tell a disabled person that they need to love being disabled because they think you wake up one day and love your disability. Shaming a disabled person for not being able to accept their disability quickly is never helpful and will only make a disabled person feel even more guilty if they are having a hard time loving their disabled body. Disability acceptance is not something that happens overnight because it’s a process and for some people it takes years. It may take even longer if you don’t know a disabled person who validates your struggles and helps you feel seen. I have been disabled my entire life, and I have even struggled to accept my disability for nearly a decade because even the most experienced people who you wouldn’t think would struggle have a hard time accepting their disability. Stop expecting disabled people to accept their disabilities overnight because it’s a process, but instead support them and meet them in the place they are at.

Ableism and inaccessibility make it harder to accept a disability- Non-disabled people sometimes struggle to understand why disabled people struggle to see the good in their disabilities because they aren’t impacted by inaccessibility and ableism. It can be hard to see the positives in your disability when you are constantly isolated and treated differently, and, it’s not surprising to me that so many people struggle with disability acceptance. The hardest part about being disabled isn’t the physical challenges themselves, but it’s how many unnecessary barriers you face and how ableist people are. It can be hard to love your disability when you are constantly left out of things due to the lack of accessibility or can’t make friends because people see your disability and want nothing to do with you. Inaccessibility and ableism negatively impact disabled people, and sometimes that alone is the reason you are struggling with disability acceptance. Disability awareness is so important for that reason because when we are more inclusive, disabled people don’t feel alone and have an easier time accepting their disabilities.

Everyone accepts their disabilities at different rates-Disabled people who have fewer challenges often will accept their disability a little quicker than someone who needs help with everything they do. Every disabled person will accept their disability at different rates, and that is okay because there is no time frame in which you need to accept your disability. It is easy to start comparing yourself to other disabled people who had an easier time accepting their disability and think there is something wrong with you because you are taking longer. Non-disabled people often make these feelings worse when they shame a disabled person for not being able to accept their disability. Everyone has different experiences, and it is so important we recognize that and don’t make disabled people feel bad for taking a longer time to accept their disability. It is okay if it takes you a few years to accept your disability and only took your friend a few months because the most important thing is that you are taking the steps to get there. It doesn’t matter how long it takes and the only thing that matters is that you are working towards it. Some disabled people will have a better support system than others and be able to accept their disabilities faster, while others have no support system. We need to stop expecting disabled people to accept their disabilities in the same timeline because not everyone accepts their disabilities at the same rate. 

The way people react to a disability is part of the problem- Disability is often seen as a negative, and sometimes non-disabled people will isolate disabled people. Disabled people often struggle with accepting their disabilities because of the way people react to them. Non-disabled people are constantly telling disabled people that there is something wrong with them that needs to be fixed, which makes it difficult to love your disability. If everyone treated disabled people in the same way as non-disabled people, it wouldn’t be as hard to accept your disability because sometimes the comments non-disabled people say to disabled people are part of the problem.

Disability acceptance is something that a lot of disabled people struggle with because there are a lot of reasons why someone may struggle to accept their disability. Non-disabled people only make these things worse when you make someone feel guilty for not being able to accept it by telling them that they just need to embrace it. Disability is often poorly portrayed in the media, and sometimes people feel alone because they don’t see themselves being represented, which is why we need more authentic representation. If you are disabled and struggling with disability acceptance, talk to a disabled person who has similar challenges to yours that understand what it’s like to be disabled. Disabled people will be able to give you better advice on accepting your disability than a non-disabled person ever will. It takes a lot of time and effort to learn to accept your disability while living in a world surrounded by ableism, and it’s okay if it doesn’t happen immediately. Please stop expecting all disabled people to accept their disabilities in the same timeline because even though one person accepted it fast it doesn’t mean all disabled people will.   What do you wish people understood about disability acceptance? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.

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