When you are disabled, you often feel isolated because we live in an inaccessible world and sometimes can’t do the same activities as non-disabled people, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Disabled people want to be included in activities with their friends, but often we aren’t because it’s not accessible or people assume our abilities without asking us. I like to think that non-disabled people aren’t always intentionally trying to not include disabled people and sometimes don’t think about disability inclusion because it’s not as automatic for non-disabled people or don’t know how to include us. I want to feel included in activities, and even if you know I will decline I want to be invited because sometimes it’s not about your ability to an activity but it’s knowing someone thought about you. How can you include disabled people? In this post, I am going to talk about a few easy ways you can include disabled people in activities.
Check the accessibility- As a disabled person, I have to check the accessibility before I go anywhere because if it’s not accessible, I can’t participate, and people always expect that I am going to take it upon myself to check the accessibility since I am the disabled person. I don’t mind checking the accessibility of a restaurant, but I hate to always be that person who has to disappoint everyone by telling them that the place they chose is not accessible, and I can’t attend. I love it when non-disabled people check the accessibility before I have gotten a chance to because it tells me you are trying to include disabled people. Accessibility is not a choice and is a necessity for disabled people, and if you want to include us, please check the accessibility because if it’s not accessible your disabled friends can’t participate.
Ask disabled people if there is anything they need- It can be hard for non-disabled people to know what a disabled person needs, and I don’t expect non-disabled people to be experts on my access needs. The problem is that a lot of people assume our abilities and don’t ask disabled people what they would need to make that activity possible. It doesn’t matter how well you know a disabled person; no one knows their abilities more than the disabled person themselves, and I wish people would ask us before making assumptions. I love it when people ask me questions about my access needs because it shows you are trying to be inclusive, even if you don’t always get it right. Disabled people are the only true disability experts, and it’s okay if you have to ask me questions about my access needs because I don’t get annoyed by them, and I encourage them. I am always so surprised by how many people don’t ask me what my mobility needs are and assume they know. You can learn how to make events more accessible to disabled people by talking to them.
Find an alternative activity– There are some activities that my disability prevents me from being able to do that you cannot make accessible, and I have accepted that. When something is not accessible, the solution isn’t to say, “I guess you can’t go” and the solution is to find another activity that disabled people can participate in. I never want my non-disabled friends to feel like they can’t do an activity because I am not able to, but if you are inviting everyone else, it hurts to not be included. If you want to include disabled people, find another alternate activity that disabled people can’t participate in. I love it when people recognize that an activity is not accessible for me and take it upon themselves to find another activity that my disability doesn’t limit. I very rarely will call out my non-disabled friends and tell them that the activity they chose is not accessible and will just sit out, but I do hate seeing everyone else having fun and being bored to tears.
Offer a seat if you can- As a disabled person with a physical disability, I sometimes struggle to do activities that require standing for a long period of time because my disability prevents me from being able to do that comfortably. One of the best ways you can include me is to offer your seat if you see me struggling to stand because I can’t participate in a lot of activities that require me to stand, but I can participate if I have a chair. Offer your seat if you are able to stand because disabled people sometimes can’t do things standing and need a seat. I exercise a lot and am able to stand a little longer than I would if I didn’t exercise, but I still have a physical disability and it doesn’t matter how much I train I will never be able to stand as long as a non-disabled person. I don’t have as good of a time if I am forced to stand because it puts a lot of stress on my joints and if you want to be inclusive, chairs have to be available at events that require a lot of standing.
Disabled people want to be included, but often we don’t feel like we are being included because sometimes people assume our abilities and don’t invite us. If an activity is not accessible, I may decline an invitation, but I still want to be asked because it makes me feel like you were thinking about me even if I said no. I know people aren’t trying to hurt my feelings by not inviting me, but I do feel isolated when you invite everyone else except me. If you want to include disabled people, ask us what our needs are because I think a big part of the problem is that people don’t ask and make wrongful assumptions. Disabled people shouldn’t be excluded because of a disability they cannot control, and I wish non-disabled people could understand how terrible of a feeling it is to not be included. How do you include disabled people? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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