When you are disabled, you are constantly learning ways to navigate ableism because non-disabled people are often ableist and most of the time I don’t think people realize how ableist they are. I am constantly talking about things non-disabled people sometimes do that are harmful that I wish you would stop doing. I don’t talk as much about what I wish non-disabled people would do more often to support their disabled friends. We live in a society where disability is considered to be something bad and disabled people are constantly being accused of being lazy and faking their disabilities which can take a toll on someone’s mental health. Sometimes I don’t think we are doing enough to support disabled people because a lot of us feel alone because of the way non-disabled people treat us. What do I wish non-disabled people would do more often? In a previous post, I talk about a few things I wish non-disabled people would stop doing so now I am going to talk about what I wish you would start doing.
I wish you would educate yourself on ableism- Disabled people sometimes are ableist but non-disabled people often are more ableist because they don’t educate themselves on ableist like a disabled person does. Most non-disabled people could not tell you what ableism is and even if they could give you a basic definition they couldn’t give you an example. Ableism negatively impacts and I wish more people would educate themselves on ableism because it is hurting disabled people in more ways than you realize. Disabled people would feel more supported if non-disabled people started educating themselves and were able to catch themselves when they were being ableist and didn’t have to rely on a disabled person to tell them. You will be ableist and your kids will be ableist if you don’t actively take it upon yourself to unlearn it. I wish non-disabled people understood how much ableism negatively impacts a disabled person because you can’t fully support your disabled loved ones if you are constantly being ableist.
I wish you would start including disabled people– Non-disabled people sometimes don’t include us in activities because they assume we wouldn’t want to go so they don’t bother inviting us I wish non-disabled people would start including disabled people and finding way to make events inclusive because not being included is not a great feeling. Disabled people want to be invited even if you are certain we are going to decline because sometimes it’s not about whether we would attend the event but it’s knowing you thought of us. I wish non-disabled people would start including their disabled friends in the same things they would with their non-disabled friends. One of the hardest parts of being disabled is accepting the reality that sometimes you are not going to be invited to things. I wish people would start including disabled people because not inviting us because your event is not accessible is not a good excuse.
I wish you would start hiring inclusively- Disabled people often have a harder time finding a well-paying job than non-disabled people. We don’t struggle to find employment because we less qualified than non-disabled people but employers often discriminate against our disability and assume we are less capable so they hire the non-disabled applicant. I wish employers would start hiring inclusively because disabled people need to make money and pay bills just like non-disabled. It is more expensive to be disabled and if anything we need more money to be able to pay for medical supplies our insurance doesn’t cover. I wish more business owner could see the value disabled employers can bring and would start hiring inclusively. You can’t honestly say you are an inclusive business if you don’t have a single disabled employee.
I wish you would advocate for disabled people- Non-disabled people often do not call out inaccessibility because they think disability advocacy is only for disabled people. Disabled people shouldn’t be the only ones advocating for more accessibility because anyone can become disabled and accessibility benefit everyone. The only people I often see advocating are disabled and sometimes family member of disabled people. Family members of disabled people often only advocate for things that would affect their disabled loved ones but don’t call out other things that could affect someone with a different disability. Disabled people should be the only ones advocating but often we are and I wish non-disabled people would start advocating for disabled people. Disability does not have to affect you to advocate for disabled people because change only happen when enough people are talking about. Disabled people can provide insights a non-disabled people can’t but non-disabled people still can advocate for it because you don’t have to be disabled to care about inclusivity.
I wish you would start seeing the person not the disability– Disabled people often have a harder time making friends and getting in relationship than non-disabled people. Non-disabled people often will see someone disability and judge a disability based on what they see and I wish people would stop doing that. Disabled people want to have a lot of friends and be in a relationship like non-disabled people but often it is more difficult because of your disability. I wish non-disabled people could get past someone’s assistive devices and see the person not the disability because when you focus on the disability you miss so much. I wish more non-disabled people could see me as an individual not my diagnosis because I am person who uses a wheelchair but my wheelchair is not my entire identity.
Disability is wrongly portrayed in the media which greatly influences how non-disabled people view disability which is why it’s so important to get your information from disabled people. Non-disabled people do plenty of things that I wish you would stop doing but I don’t always think people of bad intentions and sometimes people are ableist because they don’t educate themselves. You don’t have to understand my disability to be supportive of it and some of the most supportive people are those educate themselves on ableism and don’t tell me they understand my pain. Sometimes all a disabled person wants from non-disabled people is to be included and is that too much to ask? What do you wish non-disabled people would do more often? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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