October is Spina Bifida Awareness Month. I live with a lot of chronic health conditions, but my main disability is Spina Bifida, which is a neurological neural tube birth defect that occurs when the spinal cord does not close properly while still in the womb. There are three main forms of Spina Bifida, and some people may need to use assistive devices like crutches and wheelchairs to get around, while others you won’t even know they have it unless they happen to tell you. People being born today with Spina Bifida are not having as many challenges because of medical advancements, but there is no cure. I have a physical disability because I have the most severe form of Spina Bifida and don’t have the muscles to be able to walk without assistive devices. It is hard to be physically disabled in a world designed for non-disabled people, but the hardest part of my disability isn’t that my legs don’t work; it’s how disabled people are treated. What is it like to be physically disabled? In this post, I am sharing realities of living with a physical disability in a world designed for non-disabled people.
You are constantly talked down to- When you have an invisible disability, people treat you like they would a non-disabled person because they don’t know you are disabled. If you use a wheelchair or crutches to get around, people do know you have a disability because your challenges are visible. One of the most frustrating things about being physically disabled is that you are constantly being talked down to and being treated like a child because non-disabled people tend to view disabled people as lesser human beings. I can’t hide my disability like some people can, but sometimes I wish I could because it would be nice to know what it feels like to have a conversation with someone without people talking to you like you are disabled. People with invisible disabilities are often treated normally, but as soon as people can see your disability everything changes, and people think they need to treat you differently than everyone else.
People often assume you always need help- When you have a physical disability, people will often come up to you and start doing tasks for you because they assume you are incapable. I struggle with most tasks and sometimes need to ask for help, but I find ways to do most tasks because you can’t rely on others to always be available. One of the most frustrating things about being physically disabled is that people think they know your abilities better than you do and assume that you always need help. I wish I could do things independently without a non-disabled person trying to take over, but that will never be my reality because as soon as people see my physical disability, they often think I am not capable of doing that task. I am capable of more things than people give me credit for and can probably do most tasks you think I can’t do, but I have a hard time convincing non-disabled people of that.
Sometimes you break things without trying- As a physically disabled person, I have broken a lot of things, but I don’t do it on purpose, and sometimes my disability takes over because they don’t make things durable enough for a physically disabled person to use that will last. I get anxiety every single time I sit on a toilet seat because I don’t have as much stability and have broken many toilet seats because I put too much force on them without realizing it. When your physically disabled, you break a lot of things unintentionally because they don’t design products with disabled people in mind.
You are constantly called an inspiration- When you have an invisible disability, you are often not called an inspiration because people don’t know you are disabled. If you have a visible disability, people are always saying you are inspiring for existing because it is often believed that disability automatically makes you an inspiration. Most people mean well when they call me an inspiration and probably think they are give me a compliment, but little do they know I roll my eyes every time I am called an inspiration for doing basic tasks.
You are always getting frustrated by inaccessibility- Disabled people are some of the most creative people you are ever going to meet because we are constantly having to find creative ways to navigate inaccessibility. As a physically disabled person, I am always getting frustrated by barriers that make it more difficult for me to navigate and could have been removed. It is impossible to make the world accessible for all disabled people because everyone has different access needs, and you can’t accommodate everyone. The only thing we can do is try to make the world accessible for as many people as possible. As a physically disabled person, I am always hitting things with my crutches and getting frustrated because of inaccessibility. Sometimes I just want to be able to navigate something without barriers, but that will never be my reality because I can’t do anything without thinking about my disability.
Sometimes I make people nervous- When I am doing a transfer, sometimes I unintentionally give non-disabled people anxiety, and they will run over and put a hand on me to try to help. Most times, I do have everything under control, and people are not used to the way I do things because of my physical disability. You are not helping me prevent a fall when you grab onto to me to help me do a transfer, but are increasing the likelihood of me falling. I don’t have as much stability as a non-disabled and one of the realities of being physically disabled is that sometimes people don’t know how to help you. They don’t ask how they can help me but start doing the task, thinking they are helping, without realizing their way is not helpful.
People don’t talk to you directly– One of my biggest pet peeves as a physically disabled person is when people have question about me and ask the person I am with not me directly. You have to learn to advocate for yourself when you are physically disabled because non-disabled people often will assume you can’t speak for yourself.
When you have a physical disability, it is a lot harder to convince people that you are capable of something because sometimes people see your disability and automatically assume you can’t advocate for yourself. My physical disability makes a lot of things more difficult, but even though I am struggling with something that doesn’t mean I am incapable because I am forced to find different ways to do tasks to accommodate my disability. I sometimes have to do things differently to accommodate my disability, but I want a lot of the same things as non-disabled people. Don’t make assumptions about a disabled person before knowing anything about them because most times your opinion is wrong. What are some realities that you experience while living with a physical disability? If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and share it with your friends.
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